I didn’t attend choir practise on Saturday nor church
service on sunday because i didn’t want to see Mrs Williams. I’ve made up my mind not to tell her anything and i knew she would ask me if she set her eyes on me.
I didn’t know i was only adding more petrol to a burning
Some choir members came again after service to check on
me,thinking i haven’t recovered fully or not strong enough to attend service.Of course when i saw them,i pretended to be weak still.
Bode came later in d evening when everybody had left.
He said “I knew u didnt come to church today bcs of me,not
bcs of ur health.U refuse to forgive me despite my pleas.I
told u its d work of d devil,pls let’s be doing as we used to
do before..pls now”..He began to weep.
I was moved with passion when i saw him weeping.I went to
him,gave him a gentle pat on d back,and said “Dt’s
okay.Stop crying.It wasnt only ur fault,but mine too.We
both need to ask God for forgiveness and make sure it
Before I could finise my sentence he got up and started kissing me, every attempt to rescue myself out of his hand failed at that time so I surrendered and again………………it happened!!!
Before i could put myself together,Bode dressed up and ran out of my room.
I started weeping.
“Lord,i’ve done it again.I disobeyed U.I didnt yield to the voice of d Holyspirit.What will i do now?”.
For days,i was praying and weeping,asking God for
forgiveness and what to do,i didnt hear anything as I heard it earlier.It was so obvious dt something was wrong with me,as i was a shadow of myself.Even my dressing changed,a 60yr old woman would dress better. Everybody was asking,”what’s wrong with u?.Hope there’s
no problem.Are u still sick?”.
My usual answer was “No problem,all is well”..but within me,i knew nothing was well.
I wasnt attending mid-week services also.I would prefer to be in my room,and be thinking.D thought dt bothered me most was “Will God ever forgive me?.
If d first one was a mistake,what about ds one?”.
Mrs Williams called me one wednesday evening after having prayer meeting in church.”Sis Sewa,i noticed u were not in church today for d prayer meeting,how are u?.Are u not
“I’m fine ma”.
“Then,why have u been keeping urself away from church?”.
“U’ve started again.Oh!.Dt reminds me,u promised to tell
me something d other day,will u come and see me tomorrow
after school?. I will be waiting for u at d church office.”
“What time ma?”
“Let’s make it 4pm”.
She hung up, my heart started beating very fast I could even hear the sound. What will I tell her?? Maybe I should just cook up some story..but,what if she knew it’s all lies. Oh my God!..what
mess have i gotten myself into?. How will i get out of this now?.As i was pondering over ds,my phone rang.
It was my dad.I picked it.