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Writing-Worthy Lessons From A Movie

Last weekend, my friend Perk recommended a movie to me. “You’d love it”, he convinced me. “It is about writing”, he added. And that last sentence was how he got me to add watching a movie to the list of things I had to do that weekend.

Rebel In the Rye, the title of the movie I ended up watching on Sunday, was released in September 2017. It was written and directed by Danny Strong and based on a book Kenneth Slawenski authored entitled “J. D. Salinger: A Life”.

By this time, I am sure you can guess the movie is a biographical one. It portrays the world of legendary writer J. D. Salinger and vividly brings to life the experiences that shaped one of the most renowned, controversial, and enigmatic authors of our time.

Some of the stars who played various roles in the movie include Nicholas Holt, Zoey Deutch, Kevin Spacey and Sarah Paulson.

I hate spoilers so I won’t spend time to tell you about the storyline of the movie. Get it and watch it for yourself. Also, it is not a movie review so I won’t bore you with my impressions of it either. What I intend to do is share the writing-worthy lessons I picked from this movie that offered a tantalizing window into the life and times of a writer described by some as a little-understood genius who broke the rules and redefined American literature.

In the early scenes of the movie, Salinger’s mentor and lecturer in Creative Writing at Columbia University, Whit Burnett, spelled out the importance of a writer’s voice to the writer and his writing.

“Your voice is what makes your story [writing] unique,” he said. And he was quick to add a caveat, “But when the voice overwhelms the story, it becomes an expression more of the writer’s ego than the emotional experience of the reader”.

Take a moment a brood over that.

Burnett also in Salinger’s first class at Columbia made it clear to the students that there is a difference between wanting to be a writer and actually being one. This is a simple but very important statement especially to people who describe themselves as budding writers. My friend, Nesta Jojoe Erskine says, “There is no such thing as a budding writer. You are either a writer or you are not. There is no middle ground.”

Is there room for training and development for writers? Yes. But that room can only be explored through doing what writers do – writing and being a writer. There is no set time too fully blossom and receive an official certificate to tell you now you can fulfill your writing dreams. Even if you study writing as a programme or a course in the university, it does not qualify you as a writer until you actually write. The proof of the writing pudding is in the writing.

One of Salinger’s goals as a writer was to get published. His agent, Dorothy Olding pushed the idea further down his throat with the mantra, “Publishing is everything”. With this refrain, Olding advised Salinger in one of the scenes to do everything possible to get published in The New Yorker. “There’s nothing wrong in dumbing it down once in a while,” she said.

Publishing should not be the desperation of a writer. Desperation for anyone is not good. It causes you to do silly things – like dumbing it down. Stay authentic and true to your writing and your break out or breakthrough might come.

What if it doesn’t? The breakthrough – what if you never get published? This question was also answered in another conversation between Burnett and Salinger. The teacher spelled it out to his student that he may write the best works and may still never get published.

Seeing a surprised look on Salinger’s face after that statement, Burnett asked, “Are you willing to devote your life to telling stories knowing that you will never get nothing in return?”. Salinger disappointingly did not answer so Burnett did. “If the answer to this question is no,” he said. “Then go out there and find something else to do with your life because you are not a true writer”.

Going back to subject of publishing, while it is not everything, it is important. Every writer should try to get published but don’t write only for the sake of publishing. If this is the case, you must understand that the road to publishing is not an easy one. Rejection lurks in many corners of that journey and will ambush you a thousand times. That was a lesson Salinger learned the hard way. His mentor, Burnett, was the first person to give him his rejection notice. And it was right after showering praise on the same piece of writing. “This is the second most important lesson you will learn about writing”, Burnett told the young Salinger.

Typical of Burnett, he did not leave the lesson there. He went on with a solution. “What are you going to do now?” he asked. “Write another story. Then another one after that. And then another after that. And then another one after that”, he screamed after a disgruntled Salinger stomped out of the former’s office.

Write as many articles, stories, poems or whatever it is you write one more than the number of times you are rejected. Another one after your last rejection.

Finally, Burnett asked Salinger the question almost every writer has been asked or has asked himself or herself: Why do you write?

One of my mentors advised that you do not always have to have an answer to this question however I could not help but find Salinger’s answer to this question interesting. And more interesting was Burnett’s response to Salinger after his answer.

“[I write] because I get angry about a lot of things,” Salinger explained. “When I’m writing, I feel like I’m doing something about it [the anger]. Like I’m finally getting to speak my mind”.

To which Burnett replied, “Explore what it is that makes you angry and put that into a story”.

On this note, I leave you with a paraphrase of Burnett’s words. Find what makes you write and explore it to create the best pieces of art. We can only get better. It can only get better.

There is love in SHARING

SUGABELLY STORY: top 5 lessons we should learn(Must Read) 

Sugabelly’s story of Rape. Everyone in Nigeria, especially those people, who love Twitter, are aware of an unpleasant episode in the life of Mustapha Audu, son of former governor of Kogi State. This story was first revealed in 2015, and still, none of us can’t tell how exactly things went wrong for 17-years old alleged victim.

Sugabelly story victim

Story of Sugabelly

In 2015, a popular Nigerian blogger, Sugabelly revealed in the article named “Surviving Mustapha Audu, and his Rape Brigade”. She described a poor Nigerian girl (her name wasn’t revealed at first) survived multiple rape from Mustapha Audu and his closest friends.

In the Sugabelly story, lots of dirty stuff happened, including Mustapha gifting his girl as a birthday present, group rape acts etc. Mustapha himself thinks, that every point in this story is a fake, and in whole, it is just a bad attempt to make easy money. So where is the truth?

Mustapha Audu and his friend

Mustapha Audu with his friend

The main clue, which is used for the verse of governor’s son is the fact, that this story wasn’t unveiled since 2006 when Lotanna (real name of the victim) started dating him. The girl said, that she was afraid of the consequences, but Mustapha thinks, that this whole story is charged only because he didn’t married Lotanna.

Young Lotanna

And still, we can’t say exactly what really has happened between these persons. Maybe, the truth lies somewhere on the half, or, maybe, one of them is a clear criminal. Because false accusation is a crime also. But, we can try to carry some useful lessons from this story, so such a story will most likely not repeat itself among younger generation.

Mustapha Audu nowadays

Mustapha Audu

5 lessons we should learn from Sugabelly’s story

Lesson #1: Bad boys style is not a good tendency. Look, in Nigeria, women always have to be good mothers, faithful wives, and tireless domestic servants. How do we see men in Nigeria? They are drinking, showing their bad behavior in public, and the only reaction for such things would be “Ah, they are boys, so what can we do with it?”.

Lagos hood boys

The only case, where it could work, if we would try to raise tons of future pirates, goons, and other criminals. To be a man doesn’t mean to be a pig. It’s all about responsibility, proper attitude to the parents, and to your mother in the first place. Men are stronger and have more will, so why do we have to spend all these priorities for abusing someone, who is weaker? And everything begins in early ages for males. You would never rape someone if you have a kind and respectful relations with your mother. Actually, both parents should teach their sons respectful and protective attitude to those who are weaker.

Nigerian gang

Lesson #2: Remember: a woman is the guardian of life. Therefore, it is necessary to instill in your daughter basic safety rules. The girl should be sensible. Teach your daughter to understand people and situations right. You should not intimidate her, only warn against excessive credulity. Bring her the thought that wise people learn not on their own, but on other people’s mistakes. Talk with your daughter, tell her about dangerous life events of your friends, discuss what was written in the press or known from television. The education of a girl must teach her to avoid what might threaten life, reputation, and health.

READ ALSO: Yvonne Nelson’s baby daddy drama story

Nigerian teen

A girl from an early age should learn to understand who she is dealing with, what to expect from this person, whether it is possible to trust him, whether he is good or bad. It is important that she can assess the emerging situation, and draw the right conclusions. This is especially useful to her when you are not around, and the girl will be able to decide for herself how to act.

Lesson #3: Police in Nigeria doesn’t know how to prevent and investigate rape acts. There is no real procedure to identify and preventing cases of rape acts. Again, don’t get us wrong, this is not about the police being unprofessional. It is about lack of legal materials and mechanisms, that should be provided by the government.

Nigerian police

Lesson #4: Parent lesson. Every reader can understand what is going to say further, proceeding from the name of this lesson. Parents, if you wouldn’t educate your little princesses, if you wouldn’t love them, take care of them, then (at least) you will grow another unhappy and cruel woman.

Nigerian child

Now, fathers, the main thing, that you have to do for your daughter through her childhood is to give her the feeling of safety. You have to be the guarantor of safety, in fact. Of course, this is not the only thing, but maybe the main, that you could do for your little girl. Because in another way, she could try to find this feeling in the arms of someone who can draw her down into something even worse, than Sugabelly’s story.

Nigerian girl

Lesson #5: Nigerian society has to stop pursuing rape victims. We mentioned earlier, how its difficult to say to someone, that you were raped. Even, if you want to say something like that to your parents or other people you love, it would be difficult too. Because our society prefers to laugh at such people, ignore them, treat them like a dirt.

Nigerian woman

Let’s not wait for someone implementing right procedures to catch the rapist. Instead of these, let’s try not to make fun of rape survivors, but figure out how to help them. Let’s be the ones, who you can come to and ask for support. Because it is not so hard, to sympathize with people.

Sugabelly’s story could be fake or real. In any case, we should think about, how to build up the society, in which such story would be just an unpleasant myth or a relic of the past.

There is love in SHARING

The Beginning Of Anger Is Madness. Its End Is Regret

There is an Arab proverb that says, “the beginning of anger is madness and its end is regret”. 

And I have seen and heard of people become downright mad and reduce themselves to beasts when they become angry. And like beasts, they savagely devour any and everything they are in contention with, only to realise later that what they destroyed in that moment of uncontrolled behaviour is marred forever. And that is probably the saddest result of anger; when you are unable to fix that which you destroyed during that fit because they are irreparably damaged.

Anger, left uncontrolled can be very damaging. Many have lost innumerable blessings because of anger; from losing out on multimillion business deals to losing vital social relationships. Uncontrolled anger can be very damaging.

The Beginning Of Anger Is Madness. Its End Is Regret
Anger

However, anger is not all bad. In as much as it is destructive, it can also be a fixer. Psychologists tell us it is very okay to get angry. What is not okay is allowing it to transcend your thinking and taking control of every part of your being. So yes, getting angry is a normal human reaction.

Human Emotions can be a very delicate thing to handle sometimes. Even the sweetest of all (love) can be equally complex. That is why dealing with them require a lot of tact and mind work.

Here are some tips I sampled from the internet to help you deal with anger. I hope you find them helpful.

  1. Think before you speak. In the heat of the moment, you might say something you will regret later. And sometimes, when we are angry, words fail us. We can hardly find the right thing to say. So, we end up saying all the wrong things that either exacerbate the problem or leave us more bruised than we were.
  2. Once you are calm, express your anger. It is good to vent your anger but venting it the wrong way might lead to another cause for anger. This is not to suggest in any way that you pent up your anger. Bottling it may result in a dangerous explosion someday. Knowing the terror such explosions can cause, it is best to express your frustration in an assertive and non-confrontational way when you start thinking clearly. State your concerns and needs directly, without hurting others or trying to control them. Winding or dilly-dallying around the issue may leave it unresolved, thereby leaving a higher probability for it recurrence.
  3. Get some exercise. Exercise prevents and cures a lot of mishaps. It is an elixir for many for many destructive ailments. Exercise reduces stress that can cause you to become angry. If you feel your anger escalating, go for a brisk walk, run or spend some time doing other enjoyable physical activities. You can even decide to count from 1 to infinity- sounds a bit puerile but it works.
  4. Try taking some timeout; it is extremely helpful. Timeouts provides a change of environment and fills your mind with new thoughts. Moving away from the scene that caused you to become angry is a step towards healing. A sight of new things calms you and helps you to collect thoughts on a better way of dealing with the cause or agent of your anger.
  5. Instead of focusing on what made you mad, identify possible solutions to resolve the problem. There are so many ways of solving a problem. Many of the problems we leave unresolved have solutions. However, when you are angry, every problem looks like it has no solution. That is why you would want to raze your house down, kick, slap or even beat the agent of anger. Anger blinds you to possible solutions, it muddies your thoughts. Which is why you must calm down first as stated earlier and then you can think about possible solutions to solve the problem.
  6. Do not hold a grudge. Forgiveness has always been the best option. Learn to forgive people for their wrong. Holding a grudge makes you bitter. It feels you with so much hate for the offender and the only thing you want to do in such moments is to react squarely to what the person has done. Forgiveness on the hand gives you a better feel. When you sincerely forgive, all the heavy emotions within assumes a lighter weight and gets you being your happy self again.
  7. Use humour to release tension. Lighten up your mood with humour. Find yourself activities you find very cheerful. You can watch funny movies or read funny stories to feel better.
  8. Practice relaxation skills. We all have a peculiar relaxation skill that works magic for us in times like this. Discover which suits you best and apply it in such times. It could be watching a movie, reading a book, listening to music, playing video games or even a good sleep. Know yourself and find out what relaxes you best and reach for it during these times.
  9. Know when to seek help. If or when your anger terrifies you and everyone else around you, then you probably time to seek help. If you find yourself strangulating people, throwing your television to the ground, kicking and slapping whoever or whatever is in sight, inflicting unimaginable physical harm to yourself and other people around you, then it is time to call in on some professional help.
Always Keep Your Anger In Check.

Anger is very difficult to control. That is why the strongest person is the one who can control his or her anger.

There is love in SHARING

Not All Good People Are Samaritans; Some Are Uber Drivers

More often than not, I’ve lived by the ‘cut your cloak according to your size’ cliché. But I get caught up sometimes in situations where I want an extra ice cream or one of those petty things which come staring at your face like orphans and you need to adopt them and take care of them in your own special way.

That afternoon when I requested for an Uber, the price seemed quite outrageous, but I knew if not for the fact that I was broke, it would have been normal to me. Then the thought of taking risks and adventurous cues flooded my mind and I decided to order it anyway. Who cares?  I didn’t have the money, but I needed to get home anyway. I didn’t think the driver would bring me back from where he picked me if I told him my money wasn’t enough, so I pompously placed the request and within a couple of minutes, a newly registered red Toyota Camry pulled up.

Not All Good People Are Samaritans; Some Are Uber Drivers
Samaritan

‘Ewuramah’?  the driver asked a bit sternly and I wondered if I should say yes and suffer the regrets or say no, cancel the trip and run to the nearest trotro station. That would have been in contrast with the adventurous girl I desired to be, so I smiled, walked shoulders-high and comfortably rested in the passenger seat.

Halfway through the journey and I began to remember all the times my mum told me I was going to land myself into huge trouble someday; the moment was finally here. The driver had refused to smile all through the ride. He simply kept humming to Shata Wale’s ‘Ayoo’ and my urge to ask him to play something cool was so faint, I couldn’t even open my mouth to speak.

What kind of driver won’t engage me in a conversation? I thought they all wanted to be rated five stars so the trend was to get all chirpy. This driver was simply different. His spirit of professionalism was so high and uptight. I couldn’t imagine how I’d get to explain to His Royal Majesty that my money wasn’t enough.

One last turn, and I finally saw the gate of our house, then I  knew World War III was about to be started by a broke girl who didn’t even know what it took Hitler to stand his grounds many years ago. The air-con became warmer all of a sudden and tears began to gather in my eyes. As he ended the trip, I began searching every nook and cranny of my purse, hoping to see a miracle.

‘Twenty five cedis’, he announced with that unfriendly tone and my jaw almost fell into my lap. It was eighteen cedis when I requested, so I didn’t know why Uber chose the day I was broke to surge the price that high. I stared at the 10-cedi note in my purse, turned my purse over with the hope that Jesus will send a rescue team to her daughter’s aid. Then I spotted the new blouse I’d bought in my bag. The tears in my eyes began to roll down my cheeks; it wasn’t for the misfortune at hand. It was for all the times my mum warned me against impulse buying. I cursed myself for buying what I hadn’t budgeted for, bit my lip for not going to pick trotro; I could have saved some more money and now all I could do was mourn the moment.

I lifted my eyes only to meet the driver’s gaze. He looked down at the 10-cedi note in my palm and turned around. I knew the moment was finally here. The drama was about to go down, but instead, he handed me some tissue to wipe my tears. He smiled and I wondered if there were people aside my mother who smiled when they were about to cause a scene. ‘Let’s just say you owe me, I’ll  text you my account number so you can make a deposit for me sometime. You don’t have to cry’, he smiled some more and it was then that I realized he was a handsome man. The initial tension clouded my eyes, I couldn’t see. I returned his smile with a thank you and shamefully dragged myself out of his car.

As I stood there watching him drive away, I knew for certain he wasn’t a Samaritan; he was just an Uber driver with a big heart and a fine face.

There is love in SHARING

Rераіrіng a Dаmаgеd Rеlаtіоnѕhір – Reconnecting Sоul-Lоvе – The Eѕѕеnсе of Great Relationships

Whаt dоеѕ іt mean іn еmоtіоnаl tеrmѕ tо have Sоul Love?

Hаvе уоu ѕtооd оn a lookout роіnt somewhere іn thе world аnd bееn simply ѕtunnеd bу thе vіеw. Yоu can’t tоuсh it, сhаngе it, fix іt, even tаkіng a photo fееlѕ lіkе іt саn’t capture the еѕѕеnсе of іt? Yоu ѕее thаt vіеw, but what you feel іѕ ѕоmеthіng соmрlеtеlу different. Some реорlе ѕау, “I’vе bееn here bеfоrе,” even thоugh, in this lifetime thеу hаvе not. There’s a mеmоrу – the mеmоrу is nоt always оf thе vіеw, it’s a memory of the fееlіng, a fаmіlіаrіtу.

Thіѕ іѕ Sоul Lоvе. A memory аnd when wе feel it, wе ѕау, “уеѕ, I hаvе fеlt thіѕ before,” аnd we hаvе.

There are moments thаt еntrерrеnеurѕ dоn’t оftеn ѕреаk аbоut because they sound іntаngіblе аnd tоо реrѕоnаl tо put words to, but еvеrу entrepreneur, іn fасt, еvеrу humаn bеіng, hаѕ thеm. Thеу аrе mоmеntѕ of arrival.

Moments such аѕ thоѕе аrе like thе аlіgnmеnt оf thе ѕtаrѕ, but really, they аrе еvеn mоrе рrоfоund thаn that. Thеу аrе thе аlіgnmеnt of bоdу, mіnd and ѕріrіt. A mоmеnt оf dеер personal rесоgnіtіоn, a memory оf something so dеер аnd yet so іntаngіblе, we struggle tо рut a nаmе tо it. Inѕріrеd is сlоѕе, Sоul Love іѕ сlоѕеr, divine іѕ yet again, a rеасh tоwаrd іt. But іt rеmаіnѕ nаmеlеѕѕ. Maybe, juѕt mауbе, іt іѕ simply, truth.

Soul Love hаѕ nо аttасhmеnt, hоwеvеr, wе want as muсh оf it as we саn get. Pеорlе have done the mоѕt еxtrаоrdіnаrу thіngѕ to gеt іt, tо keep hоld оf іt and tо сеlеbrаtе іt. We оftеn mаrrу thе реrѕоn wе fееl thіѕ feeling tоwаrd, but thіѕ is like buying thе vіеw, eventually the connection becomes evasive.

There are techniques tо guаrаntее Sоul Love соnnесtіоn does nоt fаdе lіkе thе vіеw. Fоr example, a period away frоm that vіеw wіll роtеntіаllу bring уоu back to it like a novice, once аgаіn ѕtunnеd аt thе bеаutу, connected to thе mоmеnt, mеѕmеrіѕеd оnсе mоrе.

Rераіrіng a Dаmаgеd Rеlаtіоnѕhір – Reconnecting Sоul-Lоvе – The Eѕѕеnсе of Great Relationships

Mеdіtаtіоn, dоnе соrrесtlу can wіре the fog frоm оur hеаrt and allow thіѕ moment оf соnnесtіоn tо ѕhіnе аgаіn.

Sеxuаlіtу (Rеfеr: Thе Currеnсу оf Sеxuаl Energy – Yasin Sheryl dе Jong. ISBN 9781921578663 www.bооkраl.соm.аu)

Hеаlіng, thе Eаѕtеrn hеаlеr еntеrѕ this zоnе of Sоul Lоvе іnѕріrаtіоn іn оrdеr tо dеlvе bеnеаth thе crust оf thе humаn condition.

Prayer, a deep grаtіtudе can bring thіѕ соnnесtіоn bасk tо thе surface of lіfе.

Pоеtrу аnd muѕіс has bееn used fоr centuries to bypass thе ego mіnd аnd tар thе deeper recesses оf thе humаn Soul Lоvе соnnесtіоnѕ.

Guru’ѕ аnd thе touch оf a dіvіnеlу соnnесtеd hаnd can brіng thіѕ ѕtаtе оf consciousness tо аn іndіvіduаl.

Trаvеl іntо nature rеkіndlеѕ the іnnеr сhіld, thе іnnосеnсе оf bеіng nеw and awakens ѕо mаnу mеmоrіеѕ dеер hіѕtоrіс Soul Love memories.

Fаllіng іn Lоvе сutѕ ѕtrаіght past the surface dіrесt to thе mеmоrу оf Sоul Love.

Dаnсе саn allow the mіnd tо wаndеr far еnоugh оff track for thе worries аnd саrеѕ оf life tо bе swept аѕіdе аnd fоr a dеер bоdу memory оf Sоul Lоvе to еmеrgе. Ecstasy.

Rераіrіng a Dаmаgеd Rеlаtіоnѕhір – Reconnecting Sоul-Lоvе – The Eѕѕеnсе of Great Relationships
The Quest

The Quеѕt

The ԛuеѕt fоr thеѕе Sоul Love connections іѕ the rеаl mоtіvе оf human еxіѕtеnсе. We fоrgеt this, and buу a саr, hоріng thіѕ will gіvе uѕ thіѕ mоmеnt, аnd ѕоmеtіmеѕ it dоеѕ, for a few seconds. Wе climb mоuntаіnѕ hоріng thаt, bу thе top, wе reconnect tо thіѕ precious mеmоrу. Wе build companies іn order tо free uѕ tо experience more Soul Lоvе moments, but wе fоrgеt, аnd thе соmраnу bесоmеѕ the mіѕѕіоn.

Soul Lоvе іѕ thе humаn mіѕѕіоn. We wаnt moments оf іt.

In a rеlаtіоnѕhір we fееl it, at lеаѕt аt fіrѕt mееtіng, but іt іѕ hаrd tо sustain. And thеn wе wаlk down thе street to get thе milk аnd іn the соrnеr ѕtоrе wе соllіdе wіth аnоthеr Soul Lоvе mоmеnt.

That реrѕоn and our реrѕоn collide and nоw wе are соnfuѕеd.

Should wе be guіltу? Should wе dо ѕоmеthіng, say ѕоmеthіng? In thеѕе mоmеntѕ of connection wе fееl our сurrеnt rеlаtіоnѕhір dіmіnіѕh, thіѕ mоmеnt is what wе mаrrіеd fоr. We сrаvе it in our dеереѕt bеіng and yet, we wоrk, mаkе fаmіlіеѕ, buіld hоuѕеѕ аnd fаrmѕ аnd hаvе lots оf оthеr things. Wе сrаvе thіѕ Sоul Love and when wе аrе touched by іt, wе rеmеmbеr whу wе started ѕоmеthіng.

We started a business tо feel thаt moment оf divine inspiration thаt comes when a great іdеа manifests. Wе married because in those fіrѕt moments оf mееtіng оur раrtnеr the Soul Love mеmоrу wоkе up. We rеmеmbеr аnd we ѕо easily forget. We so еаѕіlу lоѕе contact with “whу” wе сhоѕе a сеrtаіn раth, and bеgіn tо fосuѕ оn what to dо tо ѕurvіvе wіthоut Sоul Love соnnесtіоnѕ.

Lеtѕ ask оurѕеlvеѕ thіѕ ԛuеѕtіоn. “What hарреnѕ whеn wе get іntо a rеlаtіоnѕhір trіggеrеd by that Sоul Love connection, but thеn lose соntасt wіth іt? What dо we dо whеn wе are at the сhесkоut аnd fіnd Sоul Lоvе соnnесtіоn wіth аnоthеr реrѕоn? Start a соllесtіоn?

Rераіrіng a Dаmаgеd Rеlаtіоnѕhір – Reconnecting Sоul-Lоvе – The Eѕѕеnсе of Great Relationships
Forgetful

Forgetfulness

Sоul lоvе іѕ реrfесt, we саn feel іt аt a раrtу, аt thе оffісе or whеrеvеr, but it іѕ nоt a mоtіvе. Soul-love іѕ nо rеаѕоn tо dо аnуthіng. In fасt, іf уоu hаvе tо ѕрlіt up wіth a раrtnеr, аll уоu dо is rеturn tо Soul lоvе for thеm, and thеrе’ѕ nо attachment аt all. This is bоth a  ѕtаtе оf healing аnd оnе оf соnnесtіоn.

Wаntіng ѕоmеthіng mоtіvаtеѕ uѕ. Lоѕіng something hurts uѕ. But Sоul-lоvе іѕ a vасuum іn whісh there іѕ no mоtіvе. We don’t want anything, nееd аnуthіng, desire аnуthіng. Sо, the motive tо marry ѕоmеоnе is nоt bесаuѕе wе hаvе a Soul Love соnnесtіоn to them, because wе саn hаvе a thоuѕаnd, million, bіllіоn реорlе wе hаvе Sоul Lоvе connection to.

Wе mаrrу реорlе bесаuѕе wе hаvе Soul Love соnnесtіоn tо thеm AND because we hаvе trust, admiration, аррrесіаtіоn and vіѕіоn fоr thе futurе wіth thеm.

In mаrrіаgе we саn often lоѕе оnе оr аll оf those іmроrtаnt rеlаtіоnѕhір іngrеdіеntѕ, but wе саn never lоѕе Sоul Lоvе fоr a person. And thіѕ іѕ a rеаllу іmроrtаnt awareness in rеlаtіоnѕhір. Onсе уоu fееl thе соnnесtіоn, іt lasts fоrеvеr.

Sure, Soul Love can bесоmе fоggеd wіth ѕtrеѕѕ, anger, аnd buѕу-nеѕѕ, and ѕurе, Sоul Love is no penultimate reason to stay in a relationship whеrе the оthеr fоur іngrеdіеntѕ are mіѕѕіng, but, if you are gоіng tо рlасе one thіng, between you аrе уоur partner аѕ absolute and ѕасrеd, place Sоul Lоvе wау аbоvе the rеѕt.

To fееl Soul Love for a реrѕоn, male or fеmаlе іѕ a great connection аnd it hаѕ nоthіng tо do with causing оr killing romance.

Soul Love is bу far the mоѕt іmроrtаnt lеvеl оf соmmunіоn bеtwееn twо іndіvіduаlѕ. Without it, rеlаtіоnѕhірѕ аrе соmрlеx and emotionally unѕtаblе.

It is even mоrе іmроrtаnt to асknоwlеdgе this Soul Love connection whеn оnе оr both реорlе in a relationship аrе struggling wіth соmmіtmеnt. Thе аbіlіtу to lеt a реrѕоn ѕріn аnd ѕеаrсh their heart for аррrесіаtіоn, truѕt, аdmіrаtіоn аnd hоре fоr the future, that ability to ѕtаnd in ѕtіllnеѕѕ wіthоut rеасtіоn can bе fоund in thе сарасіtу tо асknоwlеdgе a Sоul Lоvе соnnесtіоn tо a раrtnеr thаt саn nеvеr fade.

Sоmеtіmеѕ wе gеt ѕсаrеd. Sometimes wе get jealous. Sоmеtіmеѕ wе еvеn gеt resentful оf our раrtnеr. These are nоt because оf Soul Lоvе connection but bесаuѕе оf emotional аttасhmеntѕ. Thеу аrе a раrt of thе ѕtrugglе to be humаn in relationship, but they are nоt a rеflесtіоn оf the dерth of уоur Sоul Lоvе.

Mаnу реорlе tell mе thаt the mоrе thеу love thеіr partner thе more jеаlоuѕ thеу bесоmе. Thіѕ is іnассurаtе. Thе more we fееl Sоul Lоvе for оur раrtnеr, thе mоrе wе can relax. Thеу can соmе оr go, leave or ѕtау, іt will nоt mаttеr іf your соnnесtіоn wіth them іѕ bаѕеd іn Soul Lоvе.

Rераіrіng a Dаmаgеd Rеlаtіоnѕhір – Reconnecting Sоul-Lоvе – The Eѕѕеnсе of Great Relationships
The real Essence

The Rеаl Eѕѕеnсе

Sоmе people think thаt Sоul Lоvе іѕ exclusive. Thаt wе hаvе thіѕ еxреrіеnсе with оnе реrѕоn, and еxсludе all others. Othеrѕ ѕtау ѕіnglе just ѕо thеу can hаvе аѕ mаnу оf thеѕе connections as lіfе permits.

It іѕ safe tо ѕау thаt wе need and want Sоul Lоvе соnnесtіоnѕ аnd іrrеѕресtіvе оf оur mоrаl оr social judgements аbоut іt, wе do have thеm wіth multiple people. Sо, there are оnlу twо important ԛuеѕtіоnѕ. Hоw dо we hаvе as mаnу of thеѕе moments with оur partner іnѕtеаd of bесоmіng “fаmіlіаr with the view?” And thе ѕесоnd ԛuеѕtіоn is, “Whаt dо wе dо whеn, whіlе іn a relationship, wе hаvе thеѕе соnnесtіоnѕ wіth оthеrѕ?”

Thе fіrѕt ԛuеѕtіоn іѕ the mоѕt dіffісult. How dо we ѕuѕtаіn mоmеntѕ of Sоul Lоvе connection wіth ѕоmеоnе we become familiar wіth оn аn еvеrуdау bаѕіѕ?

Cоnvеntіоnаl аttеmрtѕ tо sustain thеѕе Sоul Love moments with a раrtnеr include: gifts, hоlіdауѕ, babies, sex, romance, nеw hоmеѕ, picnics, роrnоgrарhу, self hеlр courses, tantra and theatre.

But еvеn these, оvеr аn еxtеndеd реrіоd саn bесоmе lіkе thе vіеw we оwn.

To undеrѕtаnd how tо hаvе mоrе Soul Lоvе соnnесtіоn mоmеntѕ wіth a раrtnеr, іt may be important tо understand thе mесhаnісѕ оf Sоul Lоvе еxреrіеnсеѕ.

Yоu аrе ѕіttіng at уоur dеѕk, the Sun іѕ shining іn thе sky, but уоu dоn’t lооk up аnd thіnk, wоw, thеrе’ѕ thе Sun. Yоu juѕt еnjоу thе dауlіght and nіght lіght (mооnlіght іѕ Sunlіght). Sometimes уоu see thе Sunrise оr Sunset and уоu mаrvеl аt the Sun. Sо, Sоul Lоvе іѕ Sunlіght. It’ѕ there 24/7 nеvеr mіѕѕіng. Without it we’d shrivel аnd bесоmе duѕt. However, wе dоn’t аlwауѕ thіnk about it.

There is love in SHARING

5 Important Lessons To Learn From Puzzle Pieces

Both living and non-living things churn life into a meaningful picture.

Have you ever tried to make meaning out of puzzle pieces? If you have, then you may have experienced how adrenaline courses through your veins, bringing you exhilaration, frustration and fulfillment at different times of assembling the pieces.

I spent one boring Sunday afternoon assembling pieces of different shapes and sizes. Starting, it felt like finding X in a mathematical equation. You know it is out there, but where exactly it is and what it looks like, you don’t. I was giddy and proud of myself when I finally beheld the beauty before me. It was worth it!

You may have heard in person or passing that life is a big picture and we are puzzle pieces that make it meaningful. That statement is true. I am a puzzle piece; I contribute to unraveling this mystery we call life. So do you.

Puzzle pieces have great lessons you and I can learn from:

You Matter

“I matter”. Tell yourself that. Do not allow anyone tell you otherwise. Be proud in whatever gathering you find yourself. You are an important puzzle piece the group needs. Irrespective of how your skill may appear, your organization requires your service.

You Are Not An Island

Even islands are not autonomous.  This is because the water bodies surrounding them helped define their existence. No one puzzle piece makes the picture clear. Do not alienate yourself with the ‘I am an introvert’ excuse. You can be an introvert and be an integral part of a group. Accept the help of others and render yours when it is needed.

You Are Not A Master Key

It is termed ‘ashawo’ key because the master key locks and unlocks any lock. You are not an ‘ashawo’ key. You do not, cannot, belong everywhere. Not every group is conducive for you. Do not waste time pushing yourself where you will not fit. I have nothing against them, but I cannot thrive in a group of outgoing people. I have been in Winneba for over three months yet I can count the number of times I have been out of my room, excluding the times I went to church and work. So if most of my friends are outgoing, we will find it difficult to relate when it comes to attending events.

My elder brother once told me, the reason why he prefers being a loner on most projects, is because if there happens to be another person with as much leadership traits, there are clashes, arguments and ego-ego interactions. Know thyself. Do not try to fit in because your friend or crush belongs. You might end up losing them.

Do Not Settle

Do you know you are special? I know I am. Do you know that no matter how much of a screw up you are, you deserve some form of respect? In relationships and marriages, some individuals goof by taking whatever spouse comes to them, due some circumstances.

While I tried to complete my puzzle as I told mentioned earlier, I was livid, desperate even, at some point because the pieces would just not fit. So I settled; I decided to fit in puzzle pieces that had a likeness to the spaces available. Guess what, I messed it all up. The force I applied in fitting wrong pieces to the right spaces dismantled the arrangement, compelling me to start all over.

Same happens to anyone who decides to settle for what they do not deserve. You are treated like yesterday’s bread, unappreciated. You are a great asset. Someone- spouse, employer- who will appreciate your time, efforts and resources will come your way. Do not give up, now that they are negotiating that last curve to reach you. Do not settle.

You Are Nothing

Why the contradiction? Let us just say some people are of the view that their suggestions, trash or sensible, are law. They believe, like the mythical Ananse, they are the preserve of all knowledge and power. If you assume your words, suggestions and decisions should be treated as the final nails in a coffin, read this: You are nothing. You are not the best thing in life and you will never be. You being proud and cocky reveals how pathetic and insecure you are. You are just a piece in the puzzle; you, at best, contribute to forming the whole picture. You are not the whole picture. Respect yourself and get in line. Recognize the role others play and appreciate it. Do not brush their efforts away like non-existent speck of dust on a well laid bed.

I leave you with this quote by Deepak Chopra: There are no extra pieces in the universe. Everyone is here because he or she has a place to fill, and every piece must fit itself into the big jigsaw puzzle.

There is love in SHARING

10 Things Broke Guys Normally Use To Entertain Female Visitors

I​ think I’m in the best position to come up with this kind of write-up. This is because I belong we know how to manoeuvre our way out when broke

NOTE: That a guy offers any of the aforementioned items does not necessarily mean it’s a yardstick for being broke, but most often than not, it’s one of those things we are talking about cheesy. This write-up contains exaggerations to a large extent cool
*Clear throat*

I shall discuss things broke guys normally use to entertain female visitors cheesy
10 Things Broke Guys Use To Entertain Female Visitor.


1. Gala and Soft drink 

Undoubtedly, gala and soft drink are what a proportion of broke guys normally use to entertain their female visitors

2. Egg-roll and Pure Water. 

Some of them will take their female visitor to an eatery and will go to the counter themselves and order for her, without even asking her what she would like to take or not. These kinds of dudes are most likely to order snacks such as egg-roll, meat pie, and soft drinks

3. Concotion Rice 

This reminds me of a time a lady visited me in school. Make I no lie, na N50 remain for my hand that day after buying a bottle of kerosene used to cook concotion rice. I inquired what I should offer her and said she had no appetite. I smiled to God for answering my prayers. After about three hours, she said I should get her shawama and I began to sweat profusely. I couldn’t but serve her my concotion rice

4. Viju Milk and Cabin Biscuit 

As funny as it sounds, some use it
5. Garri 

 funny as it sounds, I’m guilty of this. I have once offered garri to my female visitor. Make una no blame me ooooo, na my pocket empty that day ooooo cool

6. Malt 

Some will give her only malt without adding anything to it. They already assume she will not eat even if they offer her food, so dem no go kuku ask
7. Indomie and Egg 

Ronald4lif can bear me witness that he used to do this before his life changed for good

8. They offer Nothing 

For the broke ones who are very smart, will resort to entertain her by acting like clowns. However, they will start acting like Papa Ajasco so that the lady will laugh till she leaves
9. They Borrow Generator 

For those who have generation, they will borrow money to buy petrol, and for those who don’t have, they will borrow their friend’s generator. They will entertain her with movies 
10 Ladies, feel free to add the last one cool

There is love in SHARING

Signs She Enjoys Having S£x With You

Whether you have been together for years or you just started dating, it is important for you to know if you are both satisfied with your $ex lives.

You do not want to be so focused on your own
pleasure and disregard hers. So, are you really
that good in bed or is she hoping you get done
quickly so she can go to sleep?
Let’s find out by taking a look at the top 8
signs that proves she is having fun below.

1. She’s Wet: This is a no-brainer when it
comes to $exual pleasure. Just like a man gets
obviously aroused when he is ready, a
woman’s main arousal sign is that she is wet
down there. If she does not seem “ready”
prolong the pre-intimacy as much as you can and
make sure you are hitting the right spots. She
will thank you for it.

2. Quickening Breath : Another sign of arousal is
that her breath gets quicker and more urgent,
the more excited she gets. Watch for intense
gaze and steadily quickening breath, then you
know you’ve got her.

3. She Tightens Around You : If she seems to be
getting tighter around you as you go on, this is
a sign that she is enjoying what you are doing.
A woman having fun gets tighter and wetter as
she feels more pleasured.

4. Holds You (or something else) Tighter : Does
her grip on you seem to be getting tighter?
Does she seem to be grabbing the sheets or the
headboard like her life depends on it? A
woman in the throes of extreme pa$$ion
would have an intense urge to hold on tight.

5. Toes Curl: If you are keeping a closer eye on
your partner’s reactions, you would notice
that her toes curl in the moment of pleasure.

6. She Communicates : A partner who tells you
what she likes during $ex (verbally or via
body language) is definitely having a good
time and wants more. She would not waste her
time telling you what she wants if you were
not doing a pretty good job in the first place.

7. She Climaxes : The signs above could also tell
you that she is close to orgasm and if you feel
her reach that final release, then that is your
main proof. It is almost impossible for a
woman to climax without having reached the
ultimate peak of pleasure and desire.

8. Initiates $ex: One way a woman gets turned
on for $ex is when she remembers how great
it was the last time. It is this memory that
would lead her to approach you and request
for more good times. If she is always calling
you for more, or reaching for you even when
you are both watching TV, then she obviously
cannot get enough.

There is love in SHARING

[A Must Read] 11 Prayers You All Must Say For 2018

Hello African Entertainment Members

Today marks the end of 2017 and the beginning of 2018 (Our year of undiluted blessings).

As we step into the New Year, below are the 11 Prayers we want you all to say and hold on to.

Let’s Go!!!

1. PROTECT me and my Love ones from Harm.

2. Give us Good HEALTH.

3. Give us PEACE of mind.

4. FORGIVE us for our Sins.

5. PROVIDE all our needs.

6. Take our TROUBLES away.

7. Shower us with LOVE and HAPPINESS.

8. Bless us with FINANCIAL Miracles.

9. Give us Wisdom to make the RIGHT CHOICES.

10. I pray we find COURAGE to drop our bad habits.

11. Turn our pains into BLESSINGS.

The End!!

You all should continue being Amazing – 2018 will bless us with all the good things of Life from start to finish 🙏

From all of us at African Entertainment, We say “Happy New Year to you and your Family“.

We 💗 you all.

There is love in SHARING