Tag Archives: inspirational

The Beginning Of Anger Is Madness. Its End Is Regret

There is an Arab proverb that says, “the beginning of anger is madness and its end is regret”. 

And I have seen and heard of people become downright mad and reduce themselves to beasts when they become angry. And like beasts, they savagely devour any and everything they are in contention with, only to realise later that what they destroyed in that moment of uncontrolled behaviour is marred forever. And that is probably the saddest result of anger; when you are unable to fix that which you destroyed during that fit because they are irreparably damaged.

Anger, left uncontrolled can be very damaging. Many have lost innumerable blessings because of anger; from losing out on multimillion business deals to losing vital social relationships. Uncontrolled anger can be very damaging.

The Beginning Of Anger Is Madness. Its End Is Regret
Anger

However, anger is not all bad. In as much as it is destructive, it can also be a fixer. Psychologists tell us it is very okay to get angry. What is not okay is allowing it to transcend your thinking and taking control of every part of your being. So yes, getting angry is a normal human reaction.

Human Emotions can be a very delicate thing to handle sometimes. Even the sweetest of all (love) can be equally complex. That is why dealing with them require a lot of tact and mind work.

Here are some tips I sampled from the internet to help you deal with anger. I hope you find them helpful.

  1. Think before you speak. In the heat of the moment, you might say something you will regret later. And sometimes, when we are angry, words fail us. We can hardly find the right thing to say. So, we end up saying all the wrong things that either exacerbate the problem or leave us more bruised than we were.
  2. Once you are calm, express your anger. It is good to vent your anger but venting it the wrong way might lead to another cause for anger. This is not to suggest in any way that you pent up your anger. Bottling it may result in a dangerous explosion someday. Knowing the terror such explosions can cause, it is best to express your frustration in an assertive and non-confrontational way when you start thinking clearly. State your concerns and needs directly, without hurting others or trying to control them. Winding or dilly-dallying around the issue may leave it unresolved, thereby leaving a higher probability for it recurrence.
  3. Get some exercise. Exercise prevents and cures a lot of mishaps. It is an elixir for many for many destructive ailments. Exercise reduces stress that can cause you to become angry. If you feel your anger escalating, go for a brisk walk, run or spend some time doing other enjoyable physical activities. You can even decide to count from 1 to infinity- sounds a bit puerile but it works.
  4. Try taking some timeout; it is extremely helpful. Timeouts provides a change of environment and fills your mind with new thoughts. Moving away from the scene that caused you to become angry is a step towards healing. A sight of new things calms you and helps you to collect thoughts on a better way of dealing with the cause or agent of your anger.
  5. Instead of focusing on what made you mad, identify possible solutions to resolve the problem. There are so many ways of solving a problem. Many of the problems we leave unresolved have solutions. However, when you are angry, every problem looks like it has no solution. That is why you would want to raze your house down, kick, slap or even beat the agent of anger. Anger blinds you to possible solutions, it muddies your thoughts. Which is why you must calm down first as stated earlier and then you can think about possible solutions to solve the problem.
  6. Do not hold a grudge. Forgiveness has always been the best option. Learn to forgive people for their wrong. Holding a grudge makes you bitter. It feels you with so much hate for the offender and the only thing you want to do in such moments is to react squarely to what the person has done. Forgiveness on the hand gives you a better feel. When you sincerely forgive, all the heavy emotions within assumes a lighter weight and gets you being your happy self again.
  7. Use humour to release tension. Lighten up your mood with humour. Find yourself activities you find very cheerful. You can watch funny movies or read funny stories to feel better.
  8. Practice relaxation skills. We all have a peculiar relaxation skill that works magic for us in times like this. Discover which suits you best and apply it in such times. It could be watching a movie, reading a book, listening to music, playing video games or even a good sleep. Know yourself and find out what relaxes you best and reach for it during these times.
  9. Know when to seek help. If or when your anger terrifies you and everyone else around you, then you probably time to seek help. If you find yourself strangulating people, throwing your television to the ground, kicking and slapping whoever or whatever is in sight, inflicting unimaginable physical harm to yourself and other people around you, then it is time to call in on some professional help.
Always Keep Your Anger In Check.

Anger is very difficult to control. That is why the strongest person is the one who can control his or her anger.

There is love in SHARING

5 Important Lessons To Learn From Puzzle Pieces

Both living and non-living things churn life into a meaningful picture.

Have you ever tried to make meaning out of puzzle pieces? If you have, then you may have experienced how adrenaline courses through your veins, bringing you exhilaration, frustration and fulfillment at different times of assembling the pieces.

I spent one boring Sunday afternoon assembling pieces of different shapes and sizes. Starting, it felt like finding X in a mathematical equation. You know it is out there, but where exactly it is and what it looks like, you don’t. I was giddy and proud of myself when I finally beheld the beauty before me. It was worth it!

You may have heard in person or passing that life is a big picture and we are puzzle pieces that make it meaningful. That statement is true. I am a puzzle piece; I contribute to unraveling this mystery we call life. So do you.

Puzzle pieces have great lessons you and I can learn from:

You Matter

“I matter”. Tell yourself that. Do not allow anyone tell you otherwise. Be proud in whatever gathering you find yourself. You are an important puzzle piece the group needs. Irrespective of how your skill may appear, your organization requires your service.

You Are Not An Island

Even islands are not autonomous.  This is because the water bodies surrounding them helped define their existence. No one puzzle piece makes the picture clear. Do not alienate yourself with the ‘I am an introvert’ excuse. You can be an introvert and be an integral part of a group. Accept the help of others and render yours when it is needed.

You Are Not A Master Key

It is termed ‘ashawo’ key because the master key locks and unlocks any lock. You are not an ‘ashawo’ key. You do not, cannot, belong everywhere. Not every group is conducive for you. Do not waste time pushing yourself where you will not fit. I have nothing against them, but I cannot thrive in a group of outgoing people. I have been in Winneba for over three months yet I can count the number of times I have been out of my room, excluding the times I went to church and work. So if most of my friends are outgoing, we will find it difficult to relate when it comes to attending events.

My elder brother once told me, the reason why he prefers being a loner on most projects, is because if there happens to be another person with as much leadership traits, there are clashes, arguments and ego-ego interactions. Know thyself. Do not try to fit in because your friend or crush belongs. You might end up losing them.

Do Not Settle

Do you know you are special? I know I am. Do you know that no matter how much of a screw up you are, you deserve some form of respect? In relationships and marriages, some individuals goof by taking whatever spouse comes to them, due some circumstances.

While I tried to complete my puzzle as I told mentioned earlier, I was livid, desperate even, at some point because the pieces would just not fit. So I settled; I decided to fit in puzzle pieces that had a likeness to the spaces available. Guess what, I messed it all up. The force I applied in fitting wrong pieces to the right spaces dismantled the arrangement, compelling me to start all over.

Same happens to anyone who decides to settle for what they do not deserve. You are treated like yesterday’s bread, unappreciated. You are a great asset. Someone- spouse, employer- who will appreciate your time, efforts and resources will come your way. Do not give up, now that they are negotiating that last curve to reach you. Do not settle.

You Are Nothing

Why the contradiction? Let us just say some people are of the view that their suggestions, trash or sensible, are law. They believe, like the mythical Ananse, they are the preserve of all knowledge and power. If you assume your words, suggestions and decisions should be treated as the final nails in a coffin, read this: You are nothing. You are not the best thing in life and you will never be. You being proud and cocky reveals how pathetic and insecure you are. You are just a piece in the puzzle; you, at best, contribute to forming the whole picture. You are not the whole picture. Respect yourself and get in line. Recognize the role others play and appreciate it. Do not brush their efforts away like non-existent speck of dust on a well laid bed.

I leave you with this quote by Deepak Chopra: There are no extra pieces in the universe. Everyone is here because he or she has a place to fill, and every piece must fit itself into the big jigsaw puzzle.

There is love in SHARING

Never Let The Child In You Die

When you come into this world, one thing is sure – growth. You will grow old and you will grow up. The former is guaranteed; you cannot control it and it will happen whether you like it or not. The latter you consciously come to. You prepare to grow up and live as a grown up.

Regardless of how any of these two things pan out in your life, I have no doubts that you will be a very beautiful and mature adult. Nevertheless, I have one caution for you. As you grow old and grow up, let the child in you live.

One of the first ironies you will learn is how you will wish to be a grown-up person so quickly when you are a child versus how you will wish to be a child again when you become an adult. I remember how fast I wanted to grow up. My growing up process was too slow for me. I wanted to have all the liberties which came with being an adult, to be in charge and live the way I wanted. Little did I know that adulthood was a venture I was not going to love very much.

Today, I do not regret being an adult. However, I wish the process had tarried. Being an adult is burdensome. It comes with so many responsibilities that make you tired, stressed and sometimes confused. No matter how prepared you are for it, growing up comes at you like a raging storm from all angles and drowns you with its burdens. Only a few people can escape this storm or brave it.

Sometimes, life as an adult can get so unbearable all you want to do is be a child again. For many people, this is an impossibility. Once they transition from childhood into adulthood, they burn the bridges. There is no going back. That’s the mistake many adults do. They kill the children in them and spend the rest of their lives wishing they could go back to being kids.

Elsie, don’t make this mistake too. Never kill the child in you. She will come in handy too many times in your adulthood. Find a special place in your life to tuck the little adorable girl that you will be. And reach for her anytime adulthood is choking your life out of you. The child you left behind will become your lifeline.

Here’s an experience.

One day, I got an invitation by a friend to submit my CV and cover letter for a job. Sadly, when I arrived at the office, the job had been given to another person. I was shattered. There was nothing I could do other than count that day as one for a failed mission. The failed missions were piling up and I was also getting tired. Before I knew it, I was in tears. I sobbed helplessly like a child.

While I cried, my comforters were quick to remind me to wipe my tears because I was no longer a child. “As an adult, you cannot cry”, they said.

I defied them, reached for the child in me and cried as much as I could.  For some reason, I become all too fine when I let things off my chest by crying. After those tears, I found myself reinvigorated with a new sense of hope that everything was going to work out for me soon.

We are in a society which makes it difficult to rekindle your inner child. As you grow up, family and society will do their best to scrape off all the traits of being a child from your adult self. Do not yield. Let the child in you live. Call it to work when it necessary. Being an adult is good. Taking responsibility for your actions, having access to its associated liberties and fun, deciding your happiness and a whole lot more. It sounds interesting, right?  On the other hand, it is also a tiring experience; one that takes all your joy away.  If you find adulthood too challenging, maybe robotic to some extent, or boring, try these tips I took from Elizabeth Cottrell’s “Connect With Your Inner Self”.

Rekindle Your Sense Of Wonder

Pay attention to your environment. This is something children do. Take time out admire your beautiful surroundings and see how it makes you happy. There are so many things that would strike as you as beautiful, leaving you in world of wonder. You are all going to be all amazement when you pay attention to these things that your otherwise adult-stressed-self would never have allowed you to see.

Reflect On What Makes You Happy And Sad

Many a time, we are too busy getting by as adults that we even forget what makes us happy. We want to find a job that pays our bills and help us afford all the fineries we think would make us happy.

The world has too many sad rich adults and I do not want you to be one of them. Think about what makes you happy and sad. If you find it or them, you would know how to crawl of sadness when it comes and how to sustain your happiness when you find it. Happiness is important, that is why everything you would do later in life must be geared towards making you happy.

Make Time For Play

Think about what play means to you and make time for it. If need be, turn your hobby into a profession. So that as you work, you do not just earn money, you earn joy and satisfaction too.

Be Yourself

I do not what the world is going to look like when you become adult. But right now, the world is constantly trying to turn people into what they are not. In their bid to be accepted, they are everything except themselves.

What most of us do not know is that, it is easier to be yourself. Trying to be someone else is denigrating and a mockery to yourself. Which is why we find too many people who look happy on the outside but are very miserable on the inside.

I hope situations take a different turn by the time you are an adult. If it does not, be yourself, regardless!

Try Something New  

Make time to try something new. It adds spice to your life. Doing the same thing over a long period becomes mundane and boring. Be adventurous.

There are a lot of things to behold and experience. If you can afford nothing at all, get yourself a book or a movie. Read and watch all the stress away. If you can afford to travel, by all means, do so! Visit and experience new places and cultures. It educates you, entertains you and makes you happy.

Elsie, you will become a fine adult. No doubt about that. Cherish these things that I tell you today.  Keep the child in you always alive no matter what. She will be the key to your happiness.

There is love in SHARING

HOW DO YOU WANT TO BE REMEMBERED ? 2

HOW DO YOU WANT TO BE REMEMBERED ?

What is life to you? When asked this question a lot of us has different answers even thousands of em as to what life means

But the truth is”Life has no true or real or definite meaning,Life is just what you make of it,what u make it,how you live it. The average life Achievement/normal life of a Nigerian man : #Go to school:primary,secondary,university. #Get a degree/learn a trade,Own a company or business,or probably work for someone. #Own a house or rent one. #Get married and give birth to kids,(grow old and probably die)the children in turn gets through school repeat d cycle again. After doing all this,how are you remembered when you die?did you pass through life or did life pass through you? Did u go through life or did life go through u?most people go through life with a catchers mite in both hands while some on one hand,forgetting that when you leave this world you take nothing with you.

Forgetting that empty handed you come,empty handed you leave just like when you were born..the only speaking for you are your deeds,all you are remembered by are your deeds,what speaks 4 u are the lives you impacted on,The Good or Bad deeds are what you are remembered by.Now the question is,HOW DO YOU WANT TO BE REMEMBERED?,BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY,HOW DO YOU THINK YOU’D BE REMEMBERED WHEN YOU DIE.

 

But what is life if you can’t make impacts on lives,on anyone you come across,if u can’t make a change or change someone’s life,if u can’t make a positive impact or change

 

Written By Ginika Ihejiwuru

 

Certainly people will cry and mourn you.
They’ll remember the best times spent with you.
You’ll be remembered with what you left.
They’ll long for you with much pain wishing you still exist.
It’s all vanity to live an unfulfilled life.

How do you want to be remembered?
Would you rather want people to smile when they think of you or, curse your total existence?
Do you have anything to show even after you disappearance?

The world is no permanent site for any man.
No photocopy of life, no replay… life is simply straight and forward.
Take a great step today! Do something real and different.
Leave the world with the best memories of you in anyway you can.
Make good moments for life. This is when you still have a choice.

Photocopy your total existence with blue prints; that’s a pass mark at least.
Time starts now! How do you want to be remembered?

Written By Juliana Orjijulie

 

 

“Princess Diana is going to be forever remembered for her deeds on earth, with her children keeping the legacy on.

William Shakespeare is forever going to be remembered for his ever beautiful writings

Micheal Jackson is going to be forever remembered for his songs and his contributions to helping the little ones #healtheworld”

“Nelson Mandela is going to be forever remembered for his fight towards South Africa’s freedom”

 

HOW DO YOU WANT TO BE REMEMBERED?

 

 

Here are some answers from Yahoo {8 years ago} about how some people want to be remembered……

Best Answer:  I would want to be remembered as a loving and caring wife, mother, daughter, sister and friend who tried her best to help those in need. I love my family passionately and I would want them to always remember that.

I would want to be remembered as smart, funny, a great listener, one who would keep a secret, one who would not judge, one who go out of her way to help a friend or loved one even at physical cost to myself. I would want to be remembered for my ability to share my knowledge with others and my ability to help people who were overwhelmed or scared of something to remember to just breathe and then help them break whatever it was into baby steps.

I’d want people to remember my crazy laugh, my times singing on stage, my faith in God, and my courage even in the face of 14 different illnesses that make life damn difficult at times.

I would be proud of parts of my life. Other parts I would not be proud of but I have worked through them. and tried to turn them around to something better so ultimately I don’t think I wouldn’t be ashamed.

red65 · 8 years ago

I’m only 21 but my close friends and family know how much they mean to me and how important I make them in my life. I’d like to think that if I passed tonight I’d be remembered for being a great caring friend, a wonderful loving son, and a person who if someone needed something they knew they could depend on me. I’d like to think that if I passed, it would inspire some of my friends to not waste their lives as they know that I’ll do everything in my power to make my life as wonderful as I can and enjoy everything life has to offer. Its a scary question to have to consider but its definitely something to think about.

Bryan · 8 years ago

 

I want people to say, “It’s such a shame someone like that died, they could’ve done so much more then they already did.”
I want them to know that I tried helping every person that came to me for help, even when it only hurt me. But I wouldn’t be proud because I never got the chance with the guy I love.

🙂 · 8 years ago

 

I want to be remembered for how kind I was and that I loved my children more than life. I lived my life the way I wanted to live it. No regrets

SherryF · 8 years ago

 

Hmm… I’d like to be remembered for my personality and for the fact that i was myself throughout my life, not following others…and for still believing in God no matter what happened. 

WHAT LEGACY ARE YOU GOING LEAVE BEHIND?

Feel free to drop your answers in the comment box.

#WEWRITETOGIVEHOPE

Join us and lets make a difference together

There is love in SHARING

HOW DO YOU WANT TO BE REMEMBERED?

HOW DO YOU WANT TO BE REMEMBERED?

“IT ALL LIES WITH YOU AND THE DECISIONS YOU MAKE”
“IT IS A SCARY QUESTION TO CONSIDER, HOW DO I WAHOW DO YOU WANT TO BE REMEMBERED?
“IT ALL LIES WITH YOU AND THE DECISIONS YOU MAKE”
“IT IS A SCARY QUESTION TO CONSIDER, HOW DO I WANT TO BE REMEMBERED?”
This was the reply I got from a friend when I asked him this question.

Life is full of ups and downs, like it is said. Life doesn’t give you want you want, like it is said… Have you thought of asking yourself “How Do I Want To Be Remembered?” What is it you want people, your kids, family and close relatives to say about you when you are gone. Let’s leave the death part alone, How do you want to be remembered when you’ve moved? What Legacy Do You Want To Leave Behind?. 

Everyone on earth got a role to play, no matter your state of life. We all talk about great Men and Women [dead or alive], we mention all what they left behind [good or bad], we take them as our role models, but what is it we learned from them? What do we adopt from them? The funny thing is that, most Teenagers and Youths live their life freely forgetting that they’ve got a legacy to leave behind.. 

Lets come to FACEBOOK, a platform where we are free to express ourselves, ignoring or listening to people’s view about us. Here is my point on Facebook, we all have those friends who are ‘photo obsessed’ [not that it is a bad thing to be], but what sort of pictures do we go about uploading online, and how does the comments we get influence or next picture to be uploaded. Fine you want to look all Handsome and Beautiful to impress your friends and followers, and also to get that high ‘LIKE MARK’, but have you put into consideration by asking yourself, “Am I doing this ‘cause its what I love? Would I get anywhere with this picture? How would this influence my future? Where would this take me?” Alfred Noble is today remembered for Peace & Progress, why? His obituary was mistakenly published [while he was still alive] saying “the merchant of death is dead, he made his fortune by finding a way to kill most people as ever before in the shortest time possible” this referring to him inventing Dynamite. Reading this changed him, as he went ahead to change his will and donate most of his fortune to the Noble Prize Foundation [which he established], and now we know him for Peace & Progress. Alfred got to know early that what he saw in his obituary is not how he wanted to be remembered. The same might not apply to us all, we don’t have to wait before we hear or read something negative about us before we decide to begin leaving a positive legacy. You can start now, your opportunity is now…………………

Written by Ajibade Pelumi J.R {poetic-ray}

HOW DO YOU WANT TO BE REMEMBERED ?

In life, we face a lot of challenges , problems and obstacles . We also enjoy a lot of things. Meet new people , build old and new relationships ,have fun, move from where we are to new places; a new job,a new house , change environment , attend parties and events , etc. The only thing constant in all the fore-mentioned activities are the
memories we leave behind. These memories are what determine whether people smile, laugh or cry when they remember us.

Whenever a person is mentioned , our Brain paints a mental picture of that person .the memories they left behind is what they are remembered for. It’s not new for a person’s name to be mentioned and people make either nasty or good remarks about them.

The big question now is , IF YOU ARE THE TOPIC OF A DISCUSSION , WHAT KIND OF REMARKS WOULD BE MADE ABOUT YOU? funny thing is we all expect good things to be said about us. That we’ll be praised for our deeds . That we’ll be prayed for and all of that but , do we actually consider those things we are supposed to do or that are expected of us that will warrant our expectations?

It is common amongst young adults now to sit back, allow things to happen and expect good results. An African adage says ” how much input is put, determines how much output is received “. How we are remembered depends solely on how hard we work towards achieving good results and acquiring a.good name and image for ourselves. Do something, ask an African elder who Fela Anikulapo Kuti Was, I bet the first thing you’d hear is ” Hmm-mm, Fela was a human right activist who fought hard for his beliefs through his songs”. No matter how rugged he was ,.he is still remembered for his good deeds .

Therefore , ask yourself , how great would it be if you died and you were remembered to be an amazing person who children regard as a role model and adults as an icon? However , Its not all about thinking and dreaming it but also working it. There are a few things you need to consider:

1. First Impression -> hey, trust me, first impression lasts for a very long time . As small and irrelevant as.it may seem, the first impression People have of you lasts for quite a long time of not corrected sooner than later. You may not relate directly with a person but, the way you treat other people counts a lot in creating a first impression . This is why Whenever you are preparing to go somewhere or wherever you find yourself , do well to put on your best character because , it is how people view you that determines how they’ll remember you . You really don’t want someone thinking you are bossy and rude when all you wanted to do was help out or make a point
Watch out for first impressions , it is very important .

2. Manners -> OK frankly speaking , some people suck at their manners and are so horrible you don’t even want to be around them for a minute. Personally, I value courtesy a lot
A little please , excuse me, sorry , thank you. Wouldn’t hurt. The way you talk to people or even react matters. The way you eat, laugh , etc matters. If the button of your manners is broken do fix it because it’s a major deal breaker .

3. Fashion sense->as ridiculous as this sounds , its one of those things people recall quite quickly . The way you dress speaks a little louder than your voice. I’m not trying to be judgmental here but, there are some people you ask of and what you hear is ” who? That one ? That tall fair lady that’s always wearing skimpy and revealing clothes ? ” ( my Nigerian readers would relate ). Do watch out for your dressing , it speaks a lot about you .

If i were asked what I want to be remembered for, I’d say My warm personality .more like ” that girl with the million dollar smile that lights up your mood”. I’ll feel accomplished.

Therefore , I believe your personality as an individual matters a whole lot. In our every day to day life, we meet a lot of people . Sometimes we come across people with nasty , snappy personalities. But, it wouldn’t hurt to just smile at that person instead of engaging in an oral battle or confront . It also won’t kill you if you just decide to laugh at the joke no matter how boring it was , at least putting into consideration the effort the person put into making you laugh.
And , you really don’t have to shout before you would be heard and understood. believe me, with a calm and warm personality , you’d win over anyone.

It is a very good thing to have your name be accorded with pride , dignity, respect and honour even in your absence or in death . It is something worth working hard for.

Everyday, Tell yourself I want to be remembered for good and not for evil and then , work towards achieving that goal . You’ll see everything around you working out perfectly .

Before I drop my pen , I’d like you to sincerely ask this question to yourself , “If I die or leave here , how do I want to be remembered ? Or how am I going to be remembered?” now, if you don’t feel 100% sure that I’d be for good then, do well to fix yourself and have a good day.
Written By Laurat Abdullahi

There is love in SHARING

(Must Read) Winning To Lose

It is 7:50 am. You are at Circle, Accra. You are going to Madina. There are about 12 people also going to Madina and more people keep coming but you are running late for work, yet, there’s still no bus. Then, like the voice of John the Baptist in the desert shouting “Jesus is coming! Jesus is coming!”, you hear the mate in the approaching bus hawk his destination, 

“Madina! Madina!”

In nanoseconds, you calculate the stopping point of the bus, taking into consideration factors such as the velocity of the bus, the look on the driver’s face, the friction between the road surface and the car tyres and the relative spatial positions of other vehicles on the road. Then you place yourself strategically at a position on the curb where you have at least 70% chance of being one of the first four people to get access to the door of the bus as it stops.

You bless your high school Physics teacher in your head as the bus stops just in front of you; all your calculations are proven accurate. A quick scan of the bus reveals there are just about three empty seats in the bus.

You plunge forward, ready to claim your blessings when from nowhere, a thousand other people push forward too. Sweaty and soft bodies alike press against you from all directions, all hustling to enter and snatch your blessings away from you.

The struggle is real

You remember Archbishop Duncan Williams‘ voice booming in your head: “…be strong and march forward!” You do exactly that. You stand firm and make your way, inch by inch, and finally, triumphantly enter the bus, your Canaan. You pick one of the empty spots and sink your butts deep into the seats.

You smile slyly at those still down who were not able to make it into the bus. You pity them for not having good Physics teachers in high school.

What secondary schools did they go to?

You relax and savour your victory.

When you have settled well and the bus has taken off, you remember you have a couple of WhatsApp messages to answer. You reach into your pocket for your phone. Left pocket, empty. Right pocket, empty. Back pocket…at this point, your heart is thumping strongly and you begin to feel dizzy.

You want to google “How to stop dizziness instantly” but you can’t even find your phone

Slowly, you insert the tip of your longest finger into the mouth of your back pocket. You pray strongly that you should feel the hard body of the iPhone 6s that you bought just yesterday after saving 60% of your salary for eight months.

But, the witches in your hometown have other plans for you. The back pocket is empty, just like your mobile money and bank accounts.

The iPhone I bought just yesterday?

It is at that moment that you understand the saying, “Not every victory is a victory”.

There is love in SHARING

(Love Classics) A Desert Heart And The Touch Of Water


It was an ordinary day in my lifetime. I woke up to the stench that filled the air in this distant ranch. It was a Saturday, one that on my calendar is a lazy day. The light streamed lazily across my room through the tiny squeaky opened window.

The sun was beaming down in all of its glory from the east on the green meadow and the natural orchestra was at it again. The birds played the cellos in their voice boxes, the wind coming in with the humming sound of the violins and the leaves rustling away as if they were pulling the strings of a guitar. The dancers were not left out. The dust together with some fallen leaves danced majestically as if they were professional ballet dancers with the help of the whirlwind. Everything was just enchanting.

But I could not enjoy the view for too long.

Sadness overtook my heart as I started to miss my late wife whom I used to enjoy this view with. Five years ago, the cold freaky rickety hands of death stole her from me. No vessel has been able to hold my endless wails and prayers. I have offered gifts to distant and near gods to send me to her but they amounted to nothing.

I tried to force my tired and wearied body out of bed but the more I tried, the more thoughts of that day Miriam, my wife, died came rapping at my frail mind.

Two ravens perched on my window. The sounds they made sounded were different from the ones I enjoyed minutes earlier. Theirs were like a dirge to my ears.

“Evil birds; agents of death”, I thought.

With the little strength I had, I dashed to the opened window to spank the life out of the birds. They flew away but not with their music. The words of their song were dark as if they were written by the devil himself from hell’s Plutonian shore. I stuck my head out of the window in search of the particular bird which echoed the evil line; “soonest here, soonest gone”.

After what seemed like a fruitless search, I gave up. “Maybe, it is all in my head”.

I went back to my grief; to my daily life of crying about my late wife and praying that God saves me from this punishment of living and rather blesses me with death so I get to see Miriam again.

To ease my sorrows, I took my Bible to read one of Miriam’s favourite verses. On her sick-bed, she told me to read that any time I missed her. If she were here, I would have told her she is a liar! I have read the scripture for the umpteenth time but I have not stopped missing her for a second. What surprises me is why I good back to reading it every time. Sigh!

“God is our refuge and strength,
an ever-present help in trouble.
Therefore we will not fear, though the earth gives way
and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,
though its waters roar and foam
and the mountains quake with their surging”.

Facing the open window, I read from Psalm 46. I knew the verses by rote so there was no need to look into the good book. I lifted my head, watched the expanse of the farm through the window and whispered the prayer of the psalmist.

Then I saw her.

Like a witch enchanting her enemy with a spell, I was spellbound under her radiating magnificence and grace although she was far. I was on the horns of a dilemma trying to figure out whether it was my eyes playing those tricks on me.

Was I seeing clearly? I did the pinch and cry thing that confirmed whether one was dreaming or not. For the first time, I admitted that someone was prettier than my late wife. She was the microcosm of all that I perceived beauty to be.

It was both pleasurable and painful to watch her as she approached my window. Even my hormones secreted mixed fluids – of pain and pleasure. My heart skipped a beat both for the joy of seeing such a beautiful damsel and for the fear that I was denigrating the memory of my dear wife. Why torment me again, life? Why wreak this mayhem on me? Why distort my already distorted mind? Why awake in me this thing in this April wind?

The wind made matters worse as meandered its way through her hair, revealing more of why my eyes would not blink but just stare. I knew I was not the only one watching the beauty coming my way. Even angels in heaven would put their worship on hold for a minute just to catch a glimpse of this beauty that had eclipsed the sun’s beauty and glory. Her teeth sparkled as she opened her lips slightly to show a smile I had never seen before. She aroused in me a feeling I had not felt in a very long time. She was making me fall into this thing – this thing which has gone stale in my whole being. She was within my eyes reach now.

Her beauty calmed my fury for the birds which sang the evil dirge. And that raised a lot of concerns. Was the memory of my dear wife passing so soon? No! I would do everything to prevent her beauty from tampering with the seal on her memories, however tempting. However ravishing her waving heart seems, she cannot sever the matrimonial and eternal bond between my dear late wife and me with those giant leaps towards the barricaded fortress of my memory store. I will not allow this!

Before I knew she was under my window. Just a nostril stretch and I would smell and feel the comfort and joy her aura carted along with. Those piercing swords she calls eyes sank deep into my skin and instead of blood and gnashing of teeth, they brought out something I had never done in a while. I smiled.

I must confess, I was drawn to her. However, my heart was locked away in a distinct distant dusty brown, stinky cage. As the seasons passed with the days of my love’s passing lengthening, my heart, like those cages, rusted. No life, no feeling; just the irrelevant noise it made sometimes.

Surprisingly, this damsel’s presence made everything fine. Almost instantaneously, she defibrillated this rusty, busted heart of mine with that defibrillator she calls a smile. Call it love at first sight. Call it a fool’s fantasy. Call it whatever you may want to. But it does not change the fact that this lady had charmed her way into my troubled seas and calmed the tempest storm that threatened to wreck my sanity with the wrecking ball of pity and regret and all other negative emotions.

The foundation upon which my former love lay was under attack. I realized I was only human and never immune to love. Still lost in my world of fantasy, she spoke. My ears leaped with joy.

Feeling really lucky, I responded with the gentlest voice I could muster, “I am he, what can I do for you, fair maiden?”

“My dad wants to know if you could help him fix his barn.” She replied.

“My dear lady, who might your dad be?”

“Mr. Okyere,” she said.

“Ooh yes. You are a chip off the old block. But I never knew he had a daughter. Wait for me. I will be with you in a short while.”

It had been long since I held my carpenter tools but I felt my skills coming back to me. It was the first day after the death of my wife that I had actually interacted with someone. My wife, sadly, was becoming my past and this stranger was fast becoming my present and my future.

I excused myself from the young lady and closed the window. I tried to find something to wear. As I pulled my trousers up my waist, my eye caught Miriam’s picture beside my bed. I knelt beside it and cleaned the dust off it. Then, I turned to look at the window as if I could see through it to have another look at the pretty lady outside. Another look at Miriam’s picture and I could not stop my tears from flowing.

I did not know how long I was but it took a voice from outside my window to bring me back to consciousness. I’m sure she could hear my sobs.

“Please, tell your dad I’m sorry. I am not too fit to come to fix his barn. He should find someone else. I’m sorry”.

There is love in SHARING

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