Tag Archives: motivation

Happiness Day: How to avoid depression – Expert

Aisha Bubah, Counselling Psychologist, Network for Psychosocial Support, Africa (NPS-Africa), has advised Nigerians to take care of their mental health to avoid depression.

Ms. Bubah said this in an interview with the News Agency of Nigeria (NAN) on Tuesday in Abuja to commemorate the International Happiness Day.

“If one is in a happy state means less of troubles, stress and better well-being; if one is unhappy there will be depression, suicide, anxiety and stress disorder.

“Depression is a significant problem that has affected some youths which has made them to be drug addicts.

“Drug addiction is being experimented due to the poor state of mental health and seeks temporary pleasure and satisfaction,” she said.

Ms. Bubah said there cannot be health without mental health, saying one should be surrounded with positive people for well-being.

Besides, she urged Nigerians to share their thoughts with positive people to enhance their mental health.

“Constantly surrounding yourself with positive people will help manage stress. Buying expensive clothes, jewelleries will not bring permanent happiness.

We need to create time for relaxation and look beyond the economic situation of the country; we need to focus on positive in every bad situation,” Ms. Bubah counselled.

She said being happy impact on one’s level of productivity at workplace, adding that happiness also impact relationship with people.

However, she advised Nigerians to avoid sedentary lifestyle to be happy as it could cause more harm than good.

The International Day of Happiness is commemorated on March 20, annually by the United Nations to recognise the importance of happiness in the lives of people around the world.

(NAN)

There is love in SHARING

Writing-Worthy Lessons From A Movie

Last weekend, my friend Perk recommended a movie to me. “You’d love it”, he convinced me. “It is about writing”, he added. And that last sentence was how he got me to add watching a movie to the list of things I had to do that weekend.

Rebel In the Rye, the title of the movie I ended up watching on Sunday, was released in September 2017. It was written and directed by Danny Strong and based on a book Kenneth Slawenski authored entitled “J. D. Salinger: A Life”.

By this time, I am sure you can guess the movie is a biographical one. It portrays the world of legendary writer J. D. Salinger and vividly brings to life the experiences that shaped one of the most renowned, controversial, and enigmatic authors of our time.

Some of the stars who played various roles in the movie include Nicholas Holt, Zoey Deutch, Kevin Spacey and Sarah Paulson.

I hate spoilers so I won’t spend time to tell you about the storyline of the movie. Get it and watch it for yourself. Also, it is not a movie review so I won’t bore you with my impressions of it either. What I intend to do is share the writing-worthy lessons I picked from this movie that offered a tantalizing window into the life and times of a writer described by some as a little-understood genius who broke the rules and redefined American literature.

In the early scenes of the movie, Salinger’s mentor and lecturer in Creative Writing at Columbia University, Whit Burnett, spelled out the importance of a writer’s voice to the writer and his writing.

“Your voice is what makes your story [writing] unique,” he said. And he was quick to add a caveat, “But when the voice overwhelms the story, it becomes an expression more of the writer’s ego than the emotional experience of the reader”.

Take a moment a brood over that.

Burnett also in Salinger’s first class at Columbia made it clear to the students that there is a difference between wanting to be a writer and actually being one. This is a simple but very important statement especially to people who describe themselves as budding writers. My friend, Nesta Jojoe Erskine says, “There is no such thing as a budding writer. You are either a writer or you are not. There is no middle ground.”

Is there room for training and development for writers? Yes. But that room can only be explored through doing what writers do – writing and being a writer. There is no set time too fully blossom and receive an official certificate to tell you now you can fulfill your writing dreams. Even if you study writing as a programme or a course in the university, it does not qualify you as a writer until you actually write. The proof of the writing pudding is in the writing.

One of Salinger’s goals as a writer was to get published. His agent, Dorothy Olding pushed the idea further down his throat with the mantra, “Publishing is everything”. With this refrain, Olding advised Salinger in one of the scenes to do everything possible to get published in The New Yorker. “There’s nothing wrong in dumbing it down once in a while,” she said.

Publishing should not be the desperation of a writer. Desperation for anyone is not good. It causes you to do silly things – like dumbing it down. Stay authentic and true to your writing and your break out or breakthrough might come.

What if it doesn’t? The breakthrough – what if you never get published? This question was also answered in another conversation between Burnett and Salinger. The teacher spelled it out to his student that he may write the best works and may still never get published.

Seeing a surprised look on Salinger’s face after that statement, Burnett asked, “Are you willing to devote your life to telling stories knowing that you will never get nothing in return?”. Salinger disappointingly did not answer so Burnett did. “If the answer to this question is no,” he said. “Then go out there and find something else to do with your life because you are not a true writer”.

Going back to subject of publishing, while it is not everything, it is important. Every writer should try to get published but don’t write only for the sake of publishing. If this is the case, you must understand that the road to publishing is not an easy one. Rejection lurks in many corners of that journey and will ambush you a thousand times. That was a lesson Salinger learned the hard way. His mentor, Burnett, was the first person to give him his rejection notice. And it was right after showering praise on the same piece of writing. “This is the second most important lesson you will learn about writing”, Burnett told the young Salinger.

Typical of Burnett, he did not leave the lesson there. He went on with a solution. “What are you going to do now?” he asked. “Write another story. Then another one after that. And then another after that. And then another one after that”, he screamed after a disgruntled Salinger stomped out of the former’s office.

Write as many articles, stories, poems or whatever it is you write one more than the number of times you are rejected. Another one after your last rejection.

Finally, Burnett asked Salinger the question almost every writer has been asked or has asked himself or herself: Why do you write?

One of my mentors advised that you do not always have to have an answer to this question however I could not help but find Salinger’s answer to this question interesting. And more interesting was Burnett’s response to Salinger after his answer.

“[I write] because I get angry about a lot of things,” Salinger explained. “When I’m writing, I feel like I’m doing something about it [the anger]. Like I’m finally getting to speak my mind”.

To which Burnett replied, “Explore what it is that makes you angry and put that into a story”.

On this note, I leave you with a paraphrase of Burnett’s words. Find what makes you write and explore it to create the best pieces of art. We can only get better. It can only get better.

There is love in SHARING

Not All Good People Are Samaritans; Some Are Uber Drivers

More often than not, I’ve lived by the ‘cut your cloak according to your size’ cliché. But I get caught up sometimes in situations where I want an extra ice cream or one of those petty things which come staring at your face like orphans and you need to adopt them and take care of them in your own special way.

That afternoon when I requested for an Uber, the price seemed quite outrageous, but I knew if not for the fact that I was broke, it would have been normal to me. Then the thought of taking risks and adventurous cues flooded my mind and I decided to order it anyway. Who cares?  I didn’t have the money, but I needed to get home anyway. I didn’t think the driver would bring me back from where he picked me if I told him my money wasn’t enough, so I pompously placed the request and within a couple of minutes, a newly registered red Toyota Camry pulled up.

Not All Good People Are Samaritans; Some Are Uber Drivers
Samaritan

‘Ewuramah’?  the driver asked a bit sternly and I wondered if I should say yes and suffer the regrets or say no, cancel the trip and run to the nearest trotro station. That would have been in contrast with the adventurous girl I desired to be, so I smiled, walked shoulders-high and comfortably rested in the passenger seat.

Halfway through the journey and I began to remember all the times my mum told me I was going to land myself into huge trouble someday; the moment was finally here. The driver had refused to smile all through the ride. He simply kept humming to Shata Wale’s ‘Ayoo’ and my urge to ask him to play something cool was so faint, I couldn’t even open my mouth to speak.

What kind of driver won’t engage me in a conversation? I thought they all wanted to be rated five stars so the trend was to get all chirpy. This driver was simply different. His spirit of professionalism was so high and uptight. I couldn’t imagine how I’d get to explain to His Royal Majesty that my money wasn’t enough.

One last turn, and I finally saw the gate of our house, then I  knew World War III was about to be started by a broke girl who didn’t even know what it took Hitler to stand his grounds many years ago. The air-con became warmer all of a sudden and tears began to gather in my eyes. As he ended the trip, I began searching every nook and cranny of my purse, hoping to see a miracle.

‘Twenty five cedis’, he announced with that unfriendly tone and my jaw almost fell into my lap. It was eighteen cedis when I requested, so I didn’t know why Uber chose the day I was broke to surge the price that high. I stared at the 10-cedi note in my purse, turned my purse over with the hope that Jesus will send a rescue team to her daughter’s aid. Then I spotted the new blouse I’d bought in my bag. The tears in my eyes began to roll down my cheeks; it wasn’t for the misfortune at hand. It was for all the times my mum warned me against impulse buying. I cursed myself for buying what I hadn’t budgeted for, bit my lip for not going to pick trotro; I could have saved some more money and now all I could do was mourn the moment.

I lifted my eyes only to meet the driver’s gaze. He looked down at the 10-cedi note in my palm and turned around. I knew the moment was finally here. The drama was about to go down, but instead, he handed me some tissue to wipe my tears. He smiled and I wondered if there were people aside my mother who smiled when they were about to cause a scene. ‘Let’s just say you owe me, I’ll  text you my account number so you can make a deposit for me sometime. You don’t have to cry’, he smiled some more and it was then that I realized he was a handsome man. The initial tension clouded my eyes, I couldn’t see. I returned his smile with a thank you and shamefully dragged myself out of his car.

As I stood there watching him drive away, I knew for certain he wasn’t a Samaritan; he was just an Uber driver with a big heart and a fine face.

There is love in SHARING

5 Important Lessons To Learn From Puzzle Pieces

Both living and non-living things churn life into a meaningful picture.

Have you ever tried to make meaning out of puzzle pieces? If you have, then you may have experienced how adrenaline courses through your veins, bringing you exhilaration, frustration and fulfillment at different times of assembling the pieces.

I spent one boring Sunday afternoon assembling pieces of different shapes and sizes. Starting, it felt like finding X in a mathematical equation. You know it is out there, but where exactly it is and what it looks like, you don’t. I was giddy and proud of myself when I finally beheld the beauty before me. It was worth it!

You may have heard in person or passing that life is a big picture and we are puzzle pieces that make it meaningful. That statement is true. I am a puzzle piece; I contribute to unraveling this mystery we call life. So do you.

Puzzle pieces have great lessons you and I can learn from:

You Matter

“I matter”. Tell yourself that. Do not allow anyone tell you otherwise. Be proud in whatever gathering you find yourself. You are an important puzzle piece the group needs. Irrespective of how your skill may appear, your organization requires your service.

You Are Not An Island

Even islands are not autonomous.  This is because the water bodies surrounding them helped define their existence. No one puzzle piece makes the picture clear. Do not alienate yourself with the ‘I am an introvert’ excuse. You can be an introvert and be an integral part of a group. Accept the help of others and render yours when it is needed.

You Are Not A Master Key

It is termed ‘ashawo’ key because the master key locks and unlocks any lock. You are not an ‘ashawo’ key. You do not, cannot, belong everywhere. Not every group is conducive for you. Do not waste time pushing yourself where you will not fit. I have nothing against them, but I cannot thrive in a group of outgoing people. I have been in Winneba for over three months yet I can count the number of times I have been out of my room, excluding the times I went to church and work. So if most of my friends are outgoing, we will find it difficult to relate when it comes to attending events.

My elder brother once told me, the reason why he prefers being a loner on most projects, is because if there happens to be another person with as much leadership traits, there are clashes, arguments and ego-ego interactions. Know thyself. Do not try to fit in because your friend or crush belongs. You might end up losing them.

Do Not Settle

Do you know you are special? I know I am. Do you know that no matter how much of a screw up you are, you deserve some form of respect? In relationships and marriages, some individuals goof by taking whatever spouse comes to them, due some circumstances.

While I tried to complete my puzzle as I told mentioned earlier, I was livid, desperate even, at some point because the pieces would just not fit. So I settled; I decided to fit in puzzle pieces that had a likeness to the spaces available. Guess what, I messed it all up. The force I applied in fitting wrong pieces to the right spaces dismantled the arrangement, compelling me to start all over.

Same happens to anyone who decides to settle for what they do not deserve. You are treated like yesterday’s bread, unappreciated. You are a great asset. Someone- spouse, employer- who will appreciate your time, efforts and resources will come your way. Do not give up, now that they are negotiating that last curve to reach you. Do not settle.

You Are Nothing

Why the contradiction? Let us just say some people are of the view that their suggestions, trash or sensible, are law. They believe, like the mythical Ananse, they are the preserve of all knowledge and power. If you assume your words, suggestions and decisions should be treated as the final nails in a coffin, read this: You are nothing. You are not the best thing in life and you will never be. You being proud and cocky reveals how pathetic and insecure you are. You are just a piece in the puzzle; you, at best, contribute to forming the whole picture. You are not the whole picture. Respect yourself and get in line. Recognize the role others play and appreciate it. Do not brush their efforts away like non-existent speck of dust on a well laid bed.

I leave you with this quote by Deepak Chopra: There are no extra pieces in the universe. Everyone is here because he or she has a place to fill, and every piece must fit itself into the big jigsaw puzzle.

There is love in SHARING

Never Let The Child In You Die

When you come into this world, one thing is sure – growth. You will grow old and you will grow up. The former is guaranteed; you cannot control it and it will happen whether you like it or not. The latter you consciously come to. You prepare to grow up and live as a grown up.

Regardless of how any of these two things pan out in your life, I have no doubts that you will be a very beautiful and mature adult. Nevertheless, I have one caution for you. As you grow old and grow up, let the child in you live.

One of the first ironies you will learn is how you will wish to be a grown-up person so quickly when you are a child versus how you will wish to be a child again when you become an adult. I remember how fast I wanted to grow up. My growing up process was too slow for me. I wanted to have all the liberties which came with being an adult, to be in charge and live the way I wanted. Little did I know that adulthood was a venture I was not going to love very much.

Today, I do not regret being an adult. However, I wish the process had tarried. Being an adult is burdensome. It comes with so many responsibilities that make you tired, stressed and sometimes confused. No matter how prepared you are for it, growing up comes at you like a raging storm from all angles and drowns you with its burdens. Only a few people can escape this storm or brave it.

Sometimes, life as an adult can get so unbearable all you want to do is be a child again. For many people, this is an impossibility. Once they transition from childhood into adulthood, they burn the bridges. There is no going back. That’s the mistake many adults do. They kill the children in them and spend the rest of their lives wishing they could go back to being kids.

Elsie, don’t make this mistake too. Never kill the child in you. She will come in handy too many times in your adulthood. Find a special place in your life to tuck the little adorable girl that you will be. And reach for her anytime adulthood is choking your life out of you. The child you left behind will become your lifeline.

Here’s an experience.

One day, I got an invitation by a friend to submit my CV and cover letter for a job. Sadly, when I arrived at the office, the job had been given to another person. I was shattered. There was nothing I could do other than count that day as one for a failed mission. The failed missions were piling up and I was also getting tired. Before I knew it, I was in tears. I sobbed helplessly like a child.

While I cried, my comforters were quick to remind me to wipe my tears because I was no longer a child. “As an adult, you cannot cry”, they said.

I defied them, reached for the child in me and cried as much as I could.  For some reason, I become all too fine when I let things off my chest by crying. After those tears, I found myself reinvigorated with a new sense of hope that everything was going to work out for me soon.

We are in a society which makes it difficult to rekindle your inner child. As you grow up, family and society will do their best to scrape off all the traits of being a child from your adult self. Do not yield. Let the child in you live. Call it to work when it necessary. Being an adult is good. Taking responsibility for your actions, having access to its associated liberties and fun, deciding your happiness and a whole lot more. It sounds interesting, right?  On the other hand, it is also a tiring experience; one that takes all your joy away.  If you find adulthood too challenging, maybe robotic to some extent, or boring, try these tips I took from Elizabeth Cottrell’s “Connect With Your Inner Self”.

Rekindle Your Sense Of Wonder

Pay attention to your environment. This is something children do. Take time out admire your beautiful surroundings and see how it makes you happy. There are so many things that would strike as you as beautiful, leaving you in world of wonder. You are all going to be all amazement when you pay attention to these things that your otherwise adult-stressed-self would never have allowed you to see.

Reflect On What Makes You Happy And Sad

Many a time, we are too busy getting by as adults that we even forget what makes us happy. We want to find a job that pays our bills and help us afford all the fineries we think would make us happy.

The world has too many sad rich adults and I do not want you to be one of them. Think about what makes you happy and sad. If you find it or them, you would know how to crawl of sadness when it comes and how to sustain your happiness when you find it. Happiness is important, that is why everything you would do later in life must be geared towards making you happy.

Make Time For Play

Think about what play means to you and make time for it. If need be, turn your hobby into a profession. So that as you work, you do not just earn money, you earn joy and satisfaction too.

Be Yourself

I do not what the world is going to look like when you become adult. But right now, the world is constantly trying to turn people into what they are not. In their bid to be accepted, they are everything except themselves.

What most of us do not know is that, it is easier to be yourself. Trying to be someone else is denigrating and a mockery to yourself. Which is why we find too many people who look happy on the outside but are very miserable on the inside.

I hope situations take a different turn by the time you are an adult. If it does not, be yourself, regardless!

Try Something New  

Make time to try something new. It adds spice to your life. Doing the same thing over a long period becomes mundane and boring. Be adventurous.

There are a lot of things to behold and experience. If you can afford nothing at all, get yourself a book or a movie. Read and watch all the stress away. If you can afford to travel, by all means, do so! Visit and experience new places and cultures. It educates you, entertains you and makes you happy.

Elsie, you will become a fine adult. No doubt about that. Cherish these things that I tell you today.  Keep the child in you always alive no matter what. She will be the key to your happiness.

There is love in SHARING

HOW DO YOU WANT TO BE REMEMBERED ? 2

HOW DO YOU WANT TO BE REMEMBERED ?

What is life to you? When asked this question a lot of us has different answers even thousands of em as to what life means

But the truth is”Life has no true or real or definite meaning,Life is just what you make of it,what u make it,how you live it. The average life Achievement/normal life of a Nigerian man : #Go to school:primary,secondary,university. #Get a degree/learn a trade,Own a company or business,or probably work for someone. #Own a house or rent one. #Get married and give birth to kids,(grow old and probably die)the children in turn gets through school repeat d cycle again. After doing all this,how are you remembered when you die?did you pass through life or did life pass through you? Did u go through life or did life go through u?most people go through life with a catchers mite in both hands while some on one hand,forgetting that when you leave this world you take nothing with you.

Forgetting that empty handed you come,empty handed you leave just like when you were born..the only speaking for you are your deeds,all you are remembered by are your deeds,what speaks 4 u are the lives you impacted on,The Good or Bad deeds are what you are remembered by.Now the question is,HOW DO YOU WANT TO BE REMEMBERED?,BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY,HOW DO YOU THINK YOU’D BE REMEMBERED WHEN YOU DIE.

 

But what is life if you can’t make impacts on lives,on anyone you come across,if u can’t make a change or change someone’s life,if u can’t make a positive impact or change

 

Written By Ginika Ihejiwuru

 

Certainly people will cry and mourn you.
They’ll remember the best times spent with you.
You’ll be remembered with what you left.
They’ll long for you with much pain wishing you still exist.
It’s all vanity to live an unfulfilled life.

How do you want to be remembered?
Would you rather want people to smile when they think of you or, curse your total existence?
Do you have anything to show even after you disappearance?

The world is no permanent site for any man.
No photocopy of life, no replay… life is simply straight and forward.
Take a great step today! Do something real and different.
Leave the world with the best memories of you in anyway you can.
Make good moments for life. This is when you still have a choice.

Photocopy your total existence with blue prints; that’s a pass mark at least.
Time starts now! How do you want to be remembered?

Written By Juliana Orjijulie

 

 

“Princess Diana is going to be forever remembered for her deeds on earth, with her children keeping the legacy on.

William Shakespeare is forever going to be remembered for his ever beautiful writings

Micheal Jackson is going to be forever remembered for his songs and his contributions to helping the little ones #healtheworld”

“Nelson Mandela is going to be forever remembered for his fight towards South Africa’s freedom”

 

HOW DO YOU WANT TO BE REMEMBERED?

 

 

Here are some answers from Yahoo {8 years ago} about how some people want to be remembered……

Best Answer:  I would want to be remembered as a loving and caring wife, mother, daughter, sister and friend who tried her best to help those in need. I love my family passionately and I would want them to always remember that.

I would want to be remembered as smart, funny, a great listener, one who would keep a secret, one who would not judge, one who go out of her way to help a friend or loved one even at physical cost to myself. I would want to be remembered for my ability to share my knowledge with others and my ability to help people who were overwhelmed or scared of something to remember to just breathe and then help them break whatever it was into baby steps.

I’d want people to remember my crazy laugh, my times singing on stage, my faith in God, and my courage even in the face of 14 different illnesses that make life damn difficult at times.

I would be proud of parts of my life. Other parts I would not be proud of but I have worked through them. and tried to turn them around to something better so ultimately I don’t think I wouldn’t be ashamed.

red65 · 8 years ago

I’m only 21 but my close friends and family know how much they mean to me and how important I make them in my life. I’d like to think that if I passed tonight I’d be remembered for being a great caring friend, a wonderful loving son, and a person who if someone needed something they knew they could depend on me. I’d like to think that if I passed, it would inspire some of my friends to not waste their lives as they know that I’ll do everything in my power to make my life as wonderful as I can and enjoy everything life has to offer. Its a scary question to have to consider but its definitely something to think about.

Bryan · 8 years ago

 

I want people to say, “It’s such a shame someone like that died, they could’ve done so much more then they already did.”
I want them to know that I tried helping every person that came to me for help, even when it only hurt me. But I wouldn’t be proud because I never got the chance with the guy I love.

🙂 · 8 years ago

 

I want to be remembered for how kind I was and that I loved my children more than life. I lived my life the way I wanted to live it. No regrets

SherryF · 8 years ago

 

Hmm… I’d like to be remembered for my personality and for the fact that i was myself throughout my life, not following others…and for still believing in God no matter what happened. 

WHAT LEGACY ARE YOU GOING LEAVE BEHIND?

Feel free to drop your answers in the comment box.

#WEWRITETOGIVEHOPE

Join us and lets make a difference together

There is love in SHARING

HOW DO YOU WANT TO BE REMEMBERED?

HOW DO YOU WANT TO BE REMEMBERED?

“IT ALL LIES WITH YOU AND THE DECISIONS YOU MAKE”
“IT IS A SCARY QUESTION TO CONSIDER, HOW DO I WAHOW DO YOU WANT TO BE REMEMBERED?
“IT ALL LIES WITH YOU AND THE DECISIONS YOU MAKE”
“IT IS A SCARY QUESTION TO CONSIDER, HOW DO I WANT TO BE REMEMBERED?”
This was the reply I got from a friend when I asked him this question.

Life is full of ups and downs, like it is said. Life doesn’t give you want you want, like it is said… Have you thought of asking yourself “How Do I Want To Be Remembered?” What is it you want people, your kids, family and close relatives to say about you when you are gone. Let’s leave the death part alone, How do you want to be remembered when you’ve moved? What Legacy Do You Want To Leave Behind?. 

Everyone on earth got a role to play, no matter your state of life. We all talk about great Men and Women [dead or alive], we mention all what they left behind [good or bad], we take them as our role models, but what is it we learned from them? What do we adopt from them? The funny thing is that, most Teenagers and Youths live their life freely forgetting that they’ve got a legacy to leave behind.. 

Lets come to FACEBOOK, a platform where we are free to express ourselves, ignoring or listening to people’s view about us. Here is my point on Facebook, we all have those friends who are ‘photo obsessed’ [not that it is a bad thing to be], but what sort of pictures do we go about uploading online, and how does the comments we get influence or next picture to be uploaded. Fine you want to look all Handsome and Beautiful to impress your friends and followers, and also to get that high ‘LIKE MARK’, but have you put into consideration by asking yourself, “Am I doing this ‘cause its what I love? Would I get anywhere with this picture? How would this influence my future? Where would this take me?” Alfred Noble is today remembered for Peace & Progress, why? His obituary was mistakenly published [while he was still alive] saying “the merchant of death is dead, he made his fortune by finding a way to kill most people as ever before in the shortest time possible” this referring to him inventing Dynamite. Reading this changed him, as he went ahead to change his will and donate most of his fortune to the Noble Prize Foundation [which he established], and now we know him for Peace & Progress. Alfred got to know early that what he saw in his obituary is not how he wanted to be remembered. The same might not apply to us all, we don’t have to wait before we hear or read something negative about us before we decide to begin leaving a positive legacy. You can start now, your opportunity is now…………………

Written by Ajibade Pelumi J.R {poetic-ray}

HOW DO YOU WANT TO BE REMEMBERED ?

In life, we face a lot of challenges , problems and obstacles . We also enjoy a lot of things. Meet new people , build old and new relationships ,have fun, move from where we are to new places; a new job,a new house , change environment , attend parties and events , etc. The only thing constant in all the fore-mentioned activities are the
memories we leave behind. These memories are what determine whether people smile, laugh or cry when they remember us.

Whenever a person is mentioned , our Brain paints a mental picture of that person .the memories they left behind is what they are remembered for. It’s not new for a person’s name to be mentioned and people make either nasty or good remarks about them.

The big question now is , IF YOU ARE THE TOPIC OF A DISCUSSION , WHAT KIND OF REMARKS WOULD BE MADE ABOUT YOU? funny thing is we all expect good things to be said about us. That we’ll be praised for our deeds . That we’ll be prayed for and all of that but , do we actually consider those things we are supposed to do or that are expected of us that will warrant our expectations?

It is common amongst young adults now to sit back, allow things to happen and expect good results. An African adage says ” how much input is put, determines how much output is received “. How we are remembered depends solely on how hard we work towards achieving good results and acquiring a.good name and image for ourselves. Do something, ask an African elder who Fela Anikulapo Kuti Was, I bet the first thing you’d hear is ” Hmm-mm, Fela was a human right activist who fought hard for his beliefs through his songs”. No matter how rugged he was ,.he is still remembered for his good deeds .

Therefore , ask yourself , how great would it be if you died and you were remembered to be an amazing person who children regard as a role model and adults as an icon? However , Its not all about thinking and dreaming it but also working it. There are a few things you need to consider:

1. First Impression -> hey, trust me, first impression lasts for a very long time . As small and irrelevant as.it may seem, the first impression People have of you lasts for quite a long time of not corrected sooner than later. You may not relate directly with a person but, the way you treat other people counts a lot in creating a first impression . This is why Whenever you are preparing to go somewhere or wherever you find yourself , do well to put on your best character because , it is how people view you that determines how they’ll remember you . You really don’t want someone thinking you are bossy and rude when all you wanted to do was help out or make a point
Watch out for first impressions , it is very important .

2. Manners -> OK frankly speaking , some people suck at their manners and are so horrible you don’t even want to be around them for a minute. Personally, I value courtesy a lot
A little please , excuse me, sorry , thank you. Wouldn’t hurt. The way you talk to people or even react matters. The way you eat, laugh , etc matters. If the button of your manners is broken do fix it because it’s a major deal breaker .

3. Fashion sense->as ridiculous as this sounds , its one of those things people recall quite quickly . The way you dress speaks a little louder than your voice. I’m not trying to be judgmental here but, there are some people you ask of and what you hear is ” who? That one ? That tall fair lady that’s always wearing skimpy and revealing clothes ? ” ( my Nigerian readers would relate ). Do watch out for your dressing , it speaks a lot about you .

If i were asked what I want to be remembered for, I’d say My warm personality .more like ” that girl with the million dollar smile that lights up your mood”. I’ll feel accomplished.

Therefore , I believe your personality as an individual matters a whole lot. In our every day to day life, we meet a lot of people . Sometimes we come across people with nasty , snappy personalities. But, it wouldn’t hurt to just smile at that person instead of engaging in an oral battle or confront . It also won’t kill you if you just decide to laugh at the joke no matter how boring it was , at least putting into consideration the effort the person put into making you laugh.
And , you really don’t have to shout before you would be heard and understood. believe me, with a calm and warm personality , you’d win over anyone.

It is a very good thing to have your name be accorded with pride , dignity, respect and honour even in your absence or in death . It is something worth working hard for.

Everyday, Tell yourself I want to be remembered for good and not for evil and then , work towards achieving that goal . You’ll see everything around you working out perfectly .

Before I drop my pen , I’d like you to sincerely ask this question to yourself , “If I die or leave here , how do I want to be remembered ? Or how am I going to be remembered?” now, if you don’t feel 100% sure that I’d be for good then, do well to fix yourself and have a good day.
Written By Laurat Abdullahi

There is love in SHARING

(Must Read) Winning To Lose

It is 7:50 am. You are at Circle, Accra. You are going to Madina. There are about 12 people also going to Madina and more people keep coming but you are running late for work, yet, there’s still no bus. Then, like the voice of John the Baptist in the desert shouting “Jesus is coming! Jesus is coming!”, you hear the mate in the approaching bus hawk his destination, 

“Madina! Madina!”

In nanoseconds, you calculate the stopping point of the bus, taking into consideration factors such as the velocity of the bus, the look on the driver’s face, the friction between the road surface and the car tyres and the relative spatial positions of other vehicles on the road. Then you place yourself strategically at a position on the curb where you have at least 70% chance of being one of the first four people to get access to the door of the bus as it stops.

You bless your high school Physics teacher in your head as the bus stops just in front of you; all your calculations are proven accurate. A quick scan of the bus reveals there are just about three empty seats in the bus.

You plunge forward, ready to claim your blessings when from nowhere, a thousand other people push forward too. Sweaty and soft bodies alike press against you from all directions, all hustling to enter and snatch your blessings away from you.

The struggle is real

You remember Archbishop Duncan Williams‘ voice booming in your head: “…be strong and march forward!” You do exactly that. You stand firm and make your way, inch by inch, and finally, triumphantly enter the bus, your Canaan. You pick one of the empty spots and sink your butts deep into the seats.

You smile slyly at those still down who were not able to make it into the bus. You pity them for not having good Physics teachers in high school.

What secondary schools did they go to?

You relax and savour your victory.

When you have settled well and the bus has taken off, you remember you have a couple of WhatsApp messages to answer. You reach into your pocket for your phone. Left pocket, empty. Right pocket, empty. Back pocket…at this point, your heart is thumping strongly and you begin to feel dizzy.

You want to google “How to stop dizziness instantly” but you can’t even find your phone

Slowly, you insert the tip of your longest finger into the mouth of your back pocket. You pray strongly that you should feel the hard body of the iPhone 6s that you bought just yesterday after saving 60% of your salary for eight months.

But, the witches in your hometown have other plans for you. The back pocket is empty, just like your mobile money and bank accounts.

The iPhone I bought just yesterday?

It is at that moment that you understand the saying, “Not every victory is a victory”.

There is love in SHARING

Living A Simple Life And The Pursuit Of Happiness.

Our culture has bred consumers and addicts. We eat too much, buy too much and want too much. We set ourselves on fruitless missions of filling the gaping hole within us with material things. Blindly, we consume more and more, believing we are hungry for more food, status, or money, yet really we are hungry for connection with our fellow men.

With this realization, the concept of minimalism and contentedness comes in play. I must say these are subjects that need to be taken into consideration as they have throughout the ages of man contributed immensely to the happiness and wellbeing of countless individuals who gave these concepts a shot even though they have been sparingly advocated.

I am sure most of you have come across the word “minimalism”. Some may have an idea of what it is and others, most probably, brushed it off like any other insignificant word. But now, each and everyone is wondering what this minimalism hullabaloo is all about, well it happens to be my subject for discussion today so feel free, relax and join me on this ride of words ecstasy. Don’t hesitate to post your comments and questions at the end of this article.

What is minimalism?

Minimalism is a lifestyle choice. Even some people do not consider it as such but rather a journey that is tasked with getting rid of the unnecessary, be it physical stuff or thoughts in favor of what is important. Minimalists search for happiness not through things but through life itself. The level of specificity is up to the individual who is at liberty to make choices in the areas of their lives they deem fit for this concept, lifestyle or journey.

Minimalism isn’t restricted to physical stuff only but clutter in every form, it is the escape from the excesses of the world around us – the excess of consumerism, material possession, clutter, having too much to do, too much debt, too many distractions, too much noise… but too little meaning.

“Minimalism is a way of eliminating the non-essential in order to focus on what’s truly important, what gives our lives meaning, what gives us joy and a sense of value”. ~ Leo Babuta

“Minimalism is an attitude, a way of being. It is a fundamental reaction against noise, visual noise, disorder, vulgarity. Minimalism is the pursuit of the essence in things, not the appearance”. ~ Massimo Vingelli

“Clutter is not just physical stuff. It is old ideas, toxic relationships, and bad habits. Clutter is anything that does not support your better self”. ~ Eleanor Brown

“Be content with what you have; rejoice in the way things are. When you realize there is nothing lacking the whole world belongs to you.” ~ Lao Tzu

Other explanations to Minimalism

“It is a lifestyle of simplicity stripped off the unnecessary to make room for that which brings you joy.”

 “It is the removal of clutter in every form leaving you with peace, freedom, and lightness.”

Deeds of a Minimalist

“A minimalist shuns away from the mindset of more, of acquiring and consuming and shopping, of bigger is better; of the burden of stuff.”

“A minimalist realizes that acquiring and upgrading does make us happy, that filling your life with busyness and constant wanting of materialistic possessions isn’t desirable but embraces the beauty of less, the aesthetic of sparseness and a life of contentedness is the true source of happiness. He values quality and not quantity in all things.”

This concept is in direct correlation with growth and development because they constitute the bedrock of happiness, not stuff. A conscious realization of this fact is the first step towards fulfillment, happiness, and contentedness. Without growth and without a deliberate effort to help others, we are just slaves to cultural expectations ensured by the trappings of money and power and status and perceived success.

We are not our stuff, we are more than our possessions and a realization of this fact is a broad step to the actualization of contentedness. Some individuals may be confused and even relate minimalism to the possibility of leading an individual to abject poverty or a life of destitute. A friend once told me this and I smiled as he expressed an irrational fear following this path and dying a pauper… Well,

 I have news for you, this is a hasty generalization and a misconception as there are countless rich people who walk the minimalist path, and this concept isn’t emptiness for the sake of emptiness but rather making room to move freely, think clearly and open ourselves to the beauty and wonder of life.


“He who is not content with what he has, would not be content with what he would like to have.”~ Socrates.

“Work to become. Not to acquire.” ~ Elbert Hubbard.

“If you are going to have less things, they have to be great things.” ~ John Mardo.

“Collect memories, not things.” ~ Unknown.

“If you have to brag about the all material things in your life, there probably isn’t much else to it.” ~ Unknown

“Nowadays people know the price of everything and the value of nothing.” ~ Oscar Wilde.

“Joy is not in things; it is in us.” ~ Benjamin Franklin.

“Fill your life with lots of experiences, not lots of things. Have incredible stories to tell not incredible clutter in your closet.” ~ Marcandangel.

Minimalism Principles in a Nutshell

Minimalism isn’t restricted to reduction to less. It is also not an end in itself but rather a path or journey that helps an individual to:

  • Have more time
  • Have less worry
  • Have more freedom
  • Have more pleasure
  • Make room for what is more important
  • Became healthier
  • Become greener, in other words getting in tune with nature
  • Exercise frugality in every aspect of life

QUITE A WRITE-UP, I MUST SAY I AM REALLY EXHAUSTED. HEHEHE… NOTE THAT SOME INFORMATION IN THIS ARTICLE WERE GATHERED FROM BOOKS ON THE SUBJECT, OTHER PIECES OF INFORMATION FROM THE WEB AND THE REST FROM INFERENCE. I HOPE THE INFORMATION IN THIS WRITE-UP BRINGS YOU MUCH BENEFIT AS IT HAS TO ME. ALSO, DO NOT FORGET TO READ FURTHER ON THE SUBJECT.

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Ten Choices You Will Always Regret Making

Your choices ultimately determine your destiny. Hindsight is a funny thing. Look forward and the path seems uncertain, the future unpredictable. Look back and all the dots seem to connect… except the dots that mark the choices you didn’t make, and the risks you didn’t take.

Here are choices you will someday regret having made:

1. Choosing not to be brave.

Being brave doesn’t mean you aren’t afraid — in fact, the opposite is true. Courage without thought or meaning is simply recklessness. Brave people aren’t fearless; they’ve simply found something that matters more to them than fear.

Say you’re scared to start a business. Find a reason that means more: creating a better future for your family, wanting to make a real difference, or hoping for a more rewarding and fulfilling life.

Once you find a greater meaning, you also find courage. See fear not as something to shrink from but as something to overcome — because that’s all it is.

2. Choosing the pain of regret over the pain of discipline.

The worst words you can say are, “If I had only…”

Think of all the things you’ve wanted to do but never have. What did you do instead? If you’re like me, you can’t recall. All you know is that time is gone and whatever you did instead wasn’t even worth remembering.

Think about one thing you dreamed of doing five or 10 years ago but didn’t work to do… and think about how good you’d be today at that one thing if you had. Think about all the time you wasted and can never get back.

Then, starting today, push yourself to do what you hope to do… so five or 10 years from now you won’t look back with regret. Sure it will be hard. Sure it will be painful.

Also read: SEE THE REASON WHY MEN ALWAYS ASK YOU FOR SEX

But it will be a lot less painful than how it will someday feel when you look back on what could have been… but isn’t.

3. Choosing not to say, “I will.”

A boss once gave me what I thought was an impossible task. I said, “OK. I’ll try.”

He told me trying didn’t matter–as long as I didn’t quit, I’d finish it. Trying didn’t enter into it. Persistence was all that mattered.

Often we say, “I’ll try,” because that gives us an out. Our egos aren’t on the line. Our identities aren’t on the line. After all, we’re just “trying.”

Once you say, “I will,” your perspective changes. What previously seemed insurmountable is no longer a matter of luck or chance but of time and effort and persistence.

When what you want to do really matters, don’t say, “I’ll try.” Say, “I will,” and then do everything possible to keep that promise to yourself.

4. Choosing not to take plenty of shots.

You may never create the perfect business plan, may never find the perfect partners or the perfect market or the perfect location, but you can find the perfect time to start — because that time is now.

Talent, experience, and connections are important, but put your all into enough new things, and some will work.

Plus, after you take enough shots, over time you’ll grow more skilled, more experienced, and more connected. And that will mean an even greater percentage of your efforts will succeed. Take enough shots, and learn from each experience, and in time you’ll have all the skills, knowledge, and connections you need.

Ultimately, success is a numbers game; it’s all about taking a shot, over and over and over again. The more shots you take, the more times you will succeed. So get the power of numbers on your side and take as many shots as you can.

There is no guarantee of success, but when you don’t take any shots at all, you’re guaranteed to always fail.

5. Choosing not to move.

Familiarity creates comfort. But comfort is often the enemy of improvement.

Must read:5 Habits You Need ToGive Up On To Be HappyIn Life

If you have a great opportunity and the only thing holding you back is the thought of moving, move. If you want to be closer to family or friends and the only thing holding you back is the thought of moving, move. If you want to be closer to people who think and feel and act like you, move. (When I asked singer/songwriter Lee Brice for the one piece of advice he would give any aspiring country artist, he said, “Move to Nashville.”)

When the fear of moving is the only thing holding you back, move.

Don’t worry. You’ll soon find cool new places to hang out. You’ll soon develop new routines. You’ll soon make new friends. And you’ll gain a great new perspective on your life.

Besides, Thomas Wolfe was wrong. If it doesn’t work out, you can go home again.

6. Choosing not to let go.

Bitterness, resentment, and jealousy are like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. You are the only one who loses.

Life is too short to resent all the people who may have hurt you. Let hard feelings go.

Then spend the energy you save cherishing the people you love and who love you.

7. Choosing not to say you’re sorry.

We all make mistakes, so we all have things we need to apologize for: words, actions, omissions, failing to step up, step in, to be there when we’re needed…

Swallow your fear — or pride — and say you’re sorry. Then you’ll help the other person let go of their resentment or bitterness.

And then you both get to make the freshest of fresh starts, sooner instead of later — or instead of never.

8. Choosing not to throw out your backup plans.

Backup plans can help you sleep easier at night. But backup plans can also create an easy out when times get tough.

You will work a lot harder and a longer if your primary plan has to work because there is no other option. Total commitment — without a safety net — will spur you to work harder than you ever imagined possible.

Then, if somehow the worst does happen (although the “worst” is never as bad as you think), trust that you will find a way to rebound.

As long as you keep working hard and keep learning from your mistakes, you always will.

9. Choosing to be too proud.

Don’t be too proud to admit you made a mistake. Don’t be too proud to have big dreams, or to poke fun at yourself, or to ask other people for help.

Don’t be afraid to take a chance and fall on your face… and then to pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and go again.

Instead, take pride in the fact that no matter what might happen, you will always get up and go again.

That way, you never truly lose — and your dreams can never, ever die.

10. Choosing not to care.

Rejection hurts. Sadness hurts. Failure hurts; sometimes a lot. So what do you do?

You avoid getting hurt by deciding you no longer care. But then you never get to experience the joy of connection, the joy of happiness, and the joy of success.

Choose to still be in the game. Choose to care.

Choose to live.

Now it’s your turn. What things do you hope to never to regret?

There is love in SHARING

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