Sugabelly’s story of Rape. Everyone in Nigeria, especially those people, who love Twitter, are aware of an unpleasant episode in the life of Mustapha Audu, son of former governor of Kogi State. This story was first revealed in 2015, and still, none of us can’t tell how exactly things went wrong for 17-years old alleged victim.
Story of Sugabelly
In 2015, a popular Nigerian blogger, Sugabelly revealed in the article named “Surviving Mustapha Audu, and his Rape Brigade”. She described a poor Nigerian girl (her name wasn’t revealed at first) survived multiple rape from Mustapha Audu and his closest friends.
In the Sugabelly story, lots of dirty stuff happened, including Mustapha gifting his girl as a birthday present, group rape acts etc. Mustapha himself thinks, that every point in this story is a fake, and in whole, it is just a bad attempt to make easy money. So where is the truth?
Mustapha Audu with his friend
The main clue, which is used for the verse of governor’s son is the fact, that this story wasn’t unveiled since 2006 when Lotanna (real name of the victim) started dating him. The girl said, that she was afraid of the consequences, but Mustapha thinks, that this whole story is charged only because he didn’t married Lotanna.
And still, we can’t say exactly what really has happened between these persons. Maybe, the truth lies somewhere on the half, or, maybe, one of them is a clear criminal. Because false accusation is a crime also. But, we can try to carry some useful lessons from this story, so such a story will most likely not repeat itself among younger generation.
5 lessons we should learn from Sugabelly’s story
Lesson #1: Bad boys style is not a good tendency. Look, in Nigeria, women always have to be good mothers, faithful wives, and tireless domestic servants. How do we see men in Nigeria? They are drinking, showing their bad behavior in public, and the only reaction for such things would be “Ah, they are boys, so what can we do with it?”.
The only case, where it could work, if we would try to raise tons of future pirates, goons, and other criminals. To be a man doesn’t mean to be a pig. It’s all about responsibility, proper attitude to the parents, and to your mother in the first place. Men are stronger and have more will, so why do we have to spend all these priorities for abusing someone, who is weaker? And everything begins in early ages for males. You would never rape someone if you have a kind and respectful relations with your mother. Actually, both parents should teach their sons respectful and protective attitude to those who are weaker.
Lesson #2: Remember: a woman is the guardian of life. Therefore, it is necessary to instill in your daughter basic safety rules. The girl should be sensible. Teach your daughter to understand people and situations right. You should not intimidate her, only warn against excessive credulity. Bring her the thought that wise people learn not on their own, but on other people’s mistakes. Talk with your daughter, tell her about dangerous life events of your friends, discuss what was written in the press or known from television. The education of a girl must teach her to avoid what might threaten life, reputation, and health.
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A girl from an early age should learn to understand who she is dealing with, what to expect from this person, whether it is possible to trust him, whether he is good or bad. It is important that she can assess the emerging situation, and draw the right conclusions. This is especially useful to her when you are not around, and the girl will be able to decide for herself how to act.
Lesson #3: Police in Nigeria doesn’t know how to prevent and investigate rape acts. There is no real procedure to identify and preventing cases of rape acts. Again, don’t get us wrong, this is not about the police being unprofessional. It is about lack of legal materials and mechanisms, that should be provided by the government.
Lesson #4: Parent lesson. Every reader can understand what is going to say further, proceeding from the name of this lesson. Parents, if you wouldn’t educate your little princesses, if you wouldn’t love them, take care of them, then (at least) you will grow another unhappy and cruel woman.
Now, fathers, the main thing, that you have to do for your daughter through her childhood is to give her the feeling of safety. You have to be the guarantor of safety, in fact. Of course, this is not the only thing, but maybe the main, that you could do for your little girl. Because in another way, she could try to find this feeling in the arms of someone who can draw her down into something even worse, than Sugabelly’s story.
Lesson #5: Nigerian society has to stop pursuing rape victims. We mentioned earlier, how its difficult to say to someone, that you were raped. Even, if you want to say something like that to your parents or other people you love, it would be difficult too. Because our society prefers to laugh at such people, ignore them, treat them like a dirt.
Let’s not wait for someone implementing right procedures to catch the rapist. Instead of these, let’s try not to make fun of rape survivors, but figure out how to help them. Let’s be the ones, who you can come to and ask for support. Because it is not so hard, to sympathize with people.
Sugabelly’s story could be fake or real. In any case, we should think about, how to build up the society, in which such story would be just an unpleasant myth or a relic of the past.